Tuesday, 28 October 2014

Tuesday 28th Oct chillen like a villain

12.5weeks. Almost at Trimester Two. In posting these I feel almost sad to share with the whole world but I would rather tell people in my own way.
We would have loved to do a cute announcement but we're time pressed and under pressure as it is.
The nausea is limited now to a few hours a day, and if I have one day of crushing it, the next day I am exhausted. Right now I am craving crepes and fruit smoothies, fresh vegetables and warming vegan moussaka that Monk Bodhi Darma made last Friday! 
Every day is an emotional roller coaster, I just wrote 350 words and deleted them. One day I'm sure I'll share my past, the shame, the pain, the scars...but I'm not going to do that today, not on this positive blog. Not in the face of exciting news...but I want you to know it's normal to feel pain from your past, especially when pregnant. Eric and I had totally different childhoods, and have totally different relationships with our parents now. There is always going to be a huge sadness around building our family as Karen is not here to guide Eric in parenthood, to revel in her grandbabies. Many of you will understand if you have lost a parent.
So we make the most of each day, try to achieve as much as we can for our family, be as kind as we can, change as many lives as we can. There are days that we don't cope, there are days I don't know how to get through. But mostly life is beautiful and even in sadness, even in regret there is raw, beautiful human-ness. This week I am, as always, practicing forgiveness and non-attachment. I am also extremely grateful for my hard working man delivering me warm crepes in bed and juggling the kids while I blog.
Catch up on my pregnancy by reading the posts below, and I will try to update weekly from here on in. 
With excitement and love,
Sares x

Sunday 28th Sept

Today was beautiful, sun was shining and despite Raine Lee not receiving the memo that it was a sleep-in day it was all round good fun. We trekked to Abbotsford for Admiral Cheng Ho vegan feast breakfast and then Raine napped in the car while I napped on my towel in the sun. Eric had a business meeting so the kids and I took Marli for a walk. After lunch I had another quick nap then we all headed to Open Gym. We've just hired two cleaners so we had the bliss of actually training! Hit 35kg snatches and 45kg C&J. Just spent lots of time on technique, timing and rest. If I can keep my weights here through pregnancy I'll be happy and it won't take too long post partum to get my strength back. 
We have a big day tomorrow so we'll finish programming and planning tonight with hopefully a little cleaning of the home thrown in ;)
Feeling ok! Scan is Monday...and I had my front teeth "helped" and a good plan in place to manage my dental care over the next year. Hopefully things will start building up and up now.

22nd Sept Monday

Today was ok, a beautiful sunny day. Got to work at 8.15am with kids and I fed and dressed (thanks Nick) finished work at 11.30am and headed home where Eric and kids let me sleep for a whole hour! Blissful. We then all had a nice chilled out afternoon of getting things done around the house and playing in the sunshine. Work called my name again for the nighttime WOD and a fun yoga class and by the time I got home the kids were asleep so Eric and I cuddled on the couch to watch Criminal Minds. During the morning, I did a few sets of front squats and in the afternoon popped my ankle weights on to complete my booty shaping routine. I also practiced my double unders and have them a bit more consistent now. My food intake was not amazing: breakfast muffin and chia pudding at 7.30am, vegan toasties at 11.30am, pasta at 4pm and some rice with roast veg at 8pm. I also had some fresh oj and a few herbal teas. I'm feeling super bloated and my belly is definitely noticeable. 

This week has been eye opening for me and really consolidated that Eric has better judgement of character than I do when not involved and both of us are probably too quick to see the best in people. We've been burnt quite a lot in this past year and I can't lie and say it's been easy. Sometimes I'm not even sure if it's worth continuing...I dream of packing it in and running away to Byron. But as Eric said yesterday, work hard now, reap the rewards in a few's a good life and it works for our family when we aren't crippled with stress.
Again, huge thanks to my blog followers, the supportive acquaintances, my long time friends, my new friends and members for keeping us honest and humble xxx

Sunday, 26 October 2014

Finally 3months!

What have you achieved in the last three months? 
Our business has grown, I've PB'd my lifts, I've gotten yoga poses I've been working on for months, I've connected better to my partner and had a close friendship change dynamics again. I've cemented new friendships, felt more confident in my path, we nearly lost our dad in a football injury...I've paid for a flight to Bali next year, I've questioned myself and my intentions everyday...more importantly I've started growing another little human!

The changes have been dramatic and the exhaustion hit me like a tonn of bricks from about 4weeks! Nausea stepped in at 7weeks and is still hanging around at night. I was so bloated from 6weeks to now, though I managed to train through with few modifications. So many emotions shine through when a baby is due...I feel scared and not prepared at all, I feel like my body is letting me down in training. I feel excited to nurture another baby and proud of my parenting thus far. I feel HUGE and find body image issues coming in. I feel sad that this will most likely be our last baby. I've journaled everything...I've been better with writing, I've made more plans. Things people say and do have hurt more than usual. I've been better at peace, and faster to get cranky! 
So today Eric let me lie in bed after a huge day yesterday, he made me hash browns on avo toast and a cup of tea. I've had a row of chocolate and he's making me lunch of pasta now. We have Open Gym in a few hours where I plan on doing Cleans, strict dips & pull-ups and some hamstring work. I will be teaching yoga tonight at lululemon. It will be a big week next week too and I'm feeling more "bring it on" than stress. 
How are you?

Friday, 10 October 2014

Social Media Shits

I'm sitting here (well laying down actually) after a ginormous morning, yeah baby I managed to coach 6am CrossFit class (total babes), eat hash brown breakfast, bake a cake for my sister and Cam, train one of my favorite clients, coach the amazing CrossFit Mummas, teach another fave yogi client, coach the 12pm CrossFit class and eat a scrumptious lunch at Kofi Beans WITHOUT falling in a heap! Once home I did some financial goal setting...the situation appears dire but I'm excited to plan for my families future and to know where our income is being invested. So now I've flopped on the bed before I head off to work again...and I'm having a breastfeeding break from Raine (for at least a few hours) as she has split my nipple (a repeated nip-lash injury....mums will get it!).
Anyway I am flipping through a trash mag and then scrolling through Instagram. To be honest I don't feel particularly inspired, today I just feel fat! I feel like I'm not amazing because I'm definitely not a size 0, I don't look like a twig with a basketball whilst pregnant, I didn't bounce back to the leanest person in the world...all those high school taunts creep in "short and stumpy" "cute and chubby"....and I start thinking, maybe I should eat less food. I should jump on the quit sugar train, should I throw out my carbs? Perhaps I should juice everything? I know, a Detox!! You can't out train a bad diet...blah blah blah
So. What I have that tonight after training I'm going to meditate. In reclining virasana (hero) for 5mins. I'm going to chill the fuck out with myself. Because I have a great body, a blessed body, a loved body and a body that makes and feeds babies like nobodies business. I have a body that enables me to stretch, to sweat, to inspire. I have a cruelty-free body. I have a body that my partner fucking LOVES. I should love it a little more too ;)


Tuesday, 7 October 2014

Catch Up 7th Oct Radelaide

So on the weekend, Eric and I were busy soaking up everything we possibly could from our CrossFit L2 course. We were instructed by absolute BOSSES and got to know many awesome coaches and other affiliate owners. Matt Swift said I had a "pretty" clean!!!!!!!!!!! And I managed both workouts both days just keeping the kgs light/challenging.
But on the same weekend my dad was playing football (AFL) in a Carnival in Adelaide when he was tackled quite brutally. He suffered 5 fractures in his cervical spine, and the tackler suffered a few broken ribs. Worried about our dad, Alex (sister) and I decided to drive up with the kids and Jess (step sis) wanted to come for mutual support of both dad and her mum, who has stood by dad's side since he was hospitalized.
So we packed the kids and some random gear into the car and headed off on a 10hr drive to Glenelg. Which is beautiful! Our hotel room is overlooking the ocean. It's unfortunate that we have to leave so early tomorrow. 
Dad's surgery will be on Thursday and we're hoping and praying he's home mid next week.
My diet yesterday was awful! I had some toast before leaving (I think), 3 lollipops, half a block of choc, half a bag of chips, lentil chips, gummy bears, a ginger beer, some pumpkin soup and a cape seed roll. Then we finally had pasta for dinner at the crappest place ever. (All food was vegan, mostly organic, super expensive and it took 2hrs to find something vegan on the damn trip for tea!).
Today I found a vegan cafe and I had bruschetta while Riv had smashed avo, we shared a veggie juice and a caramel treat afterwards, I had mushroom soup for lunch, skittles and a Cliff bar, numerous Vegemite bread slices and then a gorgeous vegan and organic pizza in the loveliest organic pizza place I've ever seen ;) with a freshly squeezed oj. But I started to feel really unwell and here I am in bed now. I haven't had enough water either day.
Anyway an early start tomorrow and I shall be home to my lover and my fur babies, home to the box and my people.
Sending my dad all of the healing vibes xx

Today is Thursday, I've woken up in my own bed, been delivered tofu scramble in said bed by my very sexy man, and am planning out how to tackle the day. So far I have updated both Instagram (personal), Facebook (business) and Members page, organised a team meeting and have a list of people to call. Today I will be spending 1-2hrs on the phone (if people pick up!), cleaning the study, programming, creating our Challenge posters, doing some yoga study, walking the pooches all while of course looking after the kids! Raines talking has reached new heights as she has learnt to speak in little sentences and conversations for example the whole way home "mummy" "yes Raine" "ummm" "mummy" "yeah babe" "ummmm" haha. And now she says River clear as day. She loves playing games that involve copying and is mostly very nurturing with the best arm (throw) on a baby ever. Though this week she has also had the biggest melt downs I've ever seen and it's been very very hard to handle. Raine is very loud at the best of times...River is still being a typical 3year old with an 8year old vocabulary haha. He's very sweet and gentle while at the same time has SO much energy that he finds it difficult to control himself. He's also very into pushing boundaries and being very moody. Yesterday I copped several "whatever mate"s and he sighs a lot. He's also very into guns and swords which I cannot stand but also somehow failed to stop. I'm disappointed to be honest, I don't know where he picked up the gun thing but the swords came from the movie Epic. So that's what I'm dealing with currently.
Both kids are little smarty pants and cheeky as anything, they play well together and eat everything they can get their hands on! 

Business is going well, it's a long road to success I will be for us. The November challenge will hopefully be an awesome way to give people the kick up the butt they need or at least really define what CrossFit Croydon is all about. Building an empire takes time, doing something you love is such a process...refining skills and staying true to the core values of the company. The fitness industry still often let's me down, I think standards for all trainers needs to be much much higher. Especially when it comes to prenatal care and post partum training. But that's a blog for another day. Nick has taken the kids to the park, Eric is at work...time for me to attack my list of To Do's!