Depression and depressive feelings are extremely common post partum.
I won't share my story but I just want you all to know that you aren't alone.
Everyone has a different situation. Some women are down because they gained more weight than they wanted, or they have gestational diabetes, some because their birth was traumatic, some because their partner was distant or unforgiving during labour. Others feel overwhelming pressure to be supermum, even if no one else expects them to do it all. Some babies scream all day and night. Sleep deprivation can make everyone go insane. Some mothers don't have a partner, some don't have any family nearby, some don't have any money. Some mothers desperately want to but cannot breastfeed their baby. Some mothers don't bond with their little one straight away. When babies are sick, often mothers blame themselves. Some people cannot ask for help or feel like no one will help even if they do.
There is a difference between the baby blues, caused by hormonal fluctuations, and post partum depression. There is also a difference between depression and depressive spells or feelings.
In my opinion there is always someone to talk to. I used Facebook to connect with other attachment parenting Mummas in the middle of the night when I was up (again) with River. Seeing a professional can be helpful. If you feel suicidal or violent towards yourself or baby get help immediately.
As a mother I know you may feel completely isolated...no one really knows what you are going through after all...as a friend I want you to let me in, tell me you need a helping hand.
Because of my experience, I know you may not reach out, you may not feel able to, but just know that there is always a better day to be had. The sun will shine, your baby will sleep, you will be able to have a cup of tea (even if it is at midnight while your partner walks around with a screaming baby), time does pass...babies don't keep, we are changed, we are tested but we are loved. And I send you love, send you light. To those dark places you visit in the aching hours of despair.
Mummy mantra "this too shall pass" xxx