Saturday, 4 April 2015

The hormonal roller coaster

It's 9pm, we've been up for 14hours and I think I've cried 75,000,52 times. Firstly, there was no coffee, then Raine wouldn't stop feeding and there was no heat pack for my sore freezing nipples, and we had to go to work with two extremely cranky kids. Weightlifting class totally crushed it but only 7 people turned up for the WOD which is a tenth of our membership (?) so I went to get groceries. Whilst I was in the health food store Raine decided to poo and I couldn't do anything until we got home. Then River came home with the most ginormous graze on his face that I've ever seen. It devastated me (seriously we were apart less than an hour!). And then Eric's gorgeous best mate layed the foundations for our deck! Following the roller coaster so far?!
My sister came over with soup whilst Raine was asleep and Riv was getting bored watching me sort the new babies' clothes, at least someone shared my enthusiasm for how well I've kept clothes from 4years ago (ashamedly, I love hand washing) and how teeny tiny the little people clothes are.
Then my mum popped in with some Easter drawing for the kids to do. 
Raine did another poo on the floor. My mum squeals like she's never seen a baby poo before haha...
The nappies got sorted, the list of things to pay/purchase is sorted, the kids Easter gifts are ready to be hidden for tomorrow's Easter hunt, 50 of my allocated squats have been done, the house is clean (despite another poo from Raine...can you tell EC is a frustrating process?!!), my emergency hospital bag is almost completely packed, kids watched Spider-Man movie while E and I managed Raine, dinner and sneaking each other chocolate, both darlings are now asleep and there's plenty more to do before tomorrow's "day off".
My pelvis feels like it's going to explode/fall out/break at any given moment and I've been quite grumpy that I haven't been able to train in a few weeks...I feel HUGE and it's hard not to tell myself how much of an ugly whale I am. 
My ex husband has moved in with his girlfriend and that in itself has caused a tidal wave of emotions in our house. It definitely hasn't happened the way I thought it would all peachy keen, a little tribe of parents that are friends. This is disappointing and hard to deal with at the moment so I am trying very very hard not to dwell on the negative but as a person that likes to talk things through I have found it most difficult. 
Tomorrow after a workout (hopefully) we will be seeing Nick for lunch and then E's family for dinner. 
Monday I am looking forward to a new chance to get stuck into our business before having this baby. I couldn't sleep last night with anxiety about everything we want to achieve this year...another great side effect of late pregnancy. So at least we have the rest of the year mapped out; comps, promotions, events and targets to hit. My side project is being planned to death and I'm looking forward to getting stuck in next week. 
It's also an emotional anniversary today, we have two birthdays this month where our special people aren't here. This is half motivating and half crippling.
Anyway, the lunar eclipse will be seen in a few hours and the clocks go back an hour as daylight savings ends. This is certainly not my favorite time of the year, especially after a weak summer (thanks Melbourne).
Apologies for the emotional and erratic blog post...with many thanks for reading.

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