Monday, 3 November 2014

Why it's not ok to comment on my body.

This is slightly written in jest (I hope my (blunt) gorgeous friend and client Jess reads it!) but I feel I truly need to speak out. The ONLY words you should say to a pregnant woman are "you look gorgeous/radiant/beautiful/excited"...
It's unclear whether other mothers have forgotten what their pregnancy was like or are just happy to finally be able to "pay someone back" but ladies STAHP!!!! 
And for all you babes yet to grow a watermelon inside your uterus, I don't mind if you go home and lovingly stroke your own supple un-stretched skin and grab a hold of your perky boobs, just STFU about the size of my stomach and my lack of breasts (for the record they were freaking amazing during/after River and even better straight after Raine, but these bad boys have gone through all sorts of hell to feed and grow my babies) your opinion is not needed.
Honestly I am mostly ok about my changing body. I'm super fit and I was kind of made to carry babies, I quite enjoy having a baby bump and I love the private connection between my body and my baby. I don't get stretch marks and I gain weight very consistently, I'm not plagued with fluid retention and while I have headaches, nausea and feel very very tired, I'm not bed-bound.
There are times though when I feel like crap...there aren't very many pregnant women around me at the moment and I do get anxious about my weight increasing, my hips changing, my milk supply dropping, my face getting fat...
There are times I feel so nauseated and bloated and SORE that I cannot stand being touched. Raine has also split my nipple which is now agony and I cannot feed her from one side. I had to express this morning to prevent engorgement and possibly mastitis and after pumping, the milk was knocked over! I'm so emotional that honestly I believed this to be the end of the world! 
My point is I don't really need anyone else to tell me that my belly is popping out or that I'm really starting to show or that I'm huge...I already know I have a baby bump (which, for the record is growing perfectly). I definitely do not need anyone making jokes about twins or telling me I look ready to pop (thankfully haven't heard either yet!).
In fact you actually do not have to say anything about my body at all...I'm quite happy to chat about the weather or what you've been up to or sharks or climate change. 
And while I am currently surrounded by very fit people with incredible bodies and don't have any friends that want/need to lose a few kgs, IF I DID have a friend struggling with their weight I would certainly not look at their trouble spot and say "yes Jenny, you are looking rather large...are you sure you don't have pre-diabetes?" Because that would just be rude. 
In my experience we are already our own worst critic, our harshest judge, and we all struggle with our ego vs self love. So next time you see a pregnant woman; smile, give her a non pregnancy related compliment and I promise she won't be imagining your face as a punching bag :)

1 comment:

  1. I know you don't particularly want comments about your body but I think you look absolutely freakin amazing!!!!! And trust me I know how it feels. I had strangers come up to me at the shops from about 30 weeks saying 'oh wow, not long now' I just giggled and said 'I still have about 10 weeks' while in my mind I was imagining me sticking my middle finger up at them hahaha. Keep fighting babe your doing amazing!