Wednesday, 22 July 2015

Baby Reef's first bottle

Yesterday Reef basically refused to feed. Over the last few months he sometimes fights me so hard you'd think I was trying to feed him poison from a knife rather than offer him a breast and cuddle. Yesterday was probably the worst it has been and he was so cross with us for not understanding what he needed. I was so stressed and because I have been so stressed my milk supply is low ish...or lower than its ever been.
Quick re cap: I had a GIGANTIC supply after River's birth and ended up donating my milk through HM4HB to several babies in need, most went to little Max and that was amazing (he had a tongue and or lip tie). I fed River for seven months after Raine was born and only noticed a drop in my supply during pregnancy. We gently and firmly weaned him.
After Raines birth I donated milk to a few babes again, including one special client of my midwife, a little boy with Down's syndrome. Raine hurt me once at around 16months and flat out refused feeds for a week, I was devastated, but I think she just didn't want to hurt me and then carried on as normal. I noticed that my supply was less than with River after the first month.
Again during my pregnancy with Reef, my supply dropped and then with the tongue and lip tie issues, the stress of running a business, toddlers and also the emotional aspect of Reef being the last baby...I wouldn't be able to pump now if I tried. For about a week after my milk "came in" I was OVER being soaked with milk, my breasts hurt and not even Raine could handle the let I've actually had to use some help from lactation cookies and I am looking into some other herbs to help. 
The woman at the organic grocer told me to avoid citrus fruits (she also told me that we were hurting Reef's ears because he wasn't warm enough), but I didn't want or ask her opinion. Honestly I just felt like crying and giving up. I was even thinking in my head to put my own cry for help on HM4HB. Twice we tried to feed Reef some expressed milk and again he just wouldn't latch properly or for long, his little mouth was red and he was unsettled when awake. I can see why people give up breastfeeding. I can see how it might be easier to bottle feed. If I didn't know better I might think that my milk supply is too low to support a baby. But I waited and had brilliant support through it from E & Reef's God mumma. Sure enough, over night he fed well. His nappies were wet and he started to poo again. He has a runny nose but seems well otherwise. 
So Mummas, trust your bodies and trust your babies and find some great support, support that is gentle and kind. Block out the lady at the grocery store. Silence the feeling of failure. You got this.

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