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Sunday 28 June 2015

Insecurities


This photo made me want to die. After about 4hrs sleep I carefully applied some tinted moisturizer, put on mascara and chose a cute outfit. My hair was shit but I didn't have time to brush it or do anything. See, I've had really bad anxiety all week about everything...meaning that I've bawled my eyes out for at least an hour every day. So my eyes and my face are puffy. And I've had not very much sleep partly due to the newborn, the toddlers, work and stress. 
I needed a photo to celebrate my first kill cliff (recovery drink) and instead my friend took this photo*. Eric looks hot and I look like a hot mess. I'm posting it here because I'm sick to death of people telling me how confident I AM, how LUCKY I am...
I had a baby 8weeks ago and I am still working SO hard. I don't look the way I want to, I want a tan, I want my teeth fixed, I wish I had time to have nice hair, I wish I could have some sleep so my eyes aren't so squinty.
What I really want is a hug and a million dollars, but I'd settle for someone telling me that I'm doing a great job. Because every mum should know they are doing a great job! The mums that work have it pretty darn hard, the mums that stay home have it pretty darn hard, the mums that do both have it really freaking hard. 
To all the pregnant mummas, I feel you when you struggle with your changing body...but it's ok.
So that is a photo of what I sometimes look like, no filters...it will change when I pose, my teeth get fixed and I lose the baby weight, but this is me...feel free to be you too.

Current CF stats:
- Snatch 33kg
- Back Squat 60kg
- Clean 45kg
- The Bear Complex 30kg
- still to scared to run more than 100m...

*Kellie, yes we're still friends ;)
 

1 comment:

  1. I think you look good. I think this photo is great like you are having a blast, frozen for us to smile at later. I remember taking these photos and having a great laugh with my friends, at the same time wondering what a kill cliff was, figured it out don't stress. I like this photo, I like you in it, not ready but laughing. :)

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