Thursday, 3 January 2013

Time for all things

So, I wanted to be honest...the past 12months have been insane. It's been a year of great joy, gut-wrenching grief, big mistakes, bigger lessons, beautiful love and the endless pursuit of happiness.
It has been amazing watching my son become a toddler, observing the relationships he has with others and the world around him. I am incredibly proud of my parenting and know that as many times as I've screwed up, at least I have this one thing down least my son will never doubt for a second that I love him with all of my heart.

So the biggest challenge I am facing is the new baby currently residing in my womb. On Saturday I think I'll be 16weeks pregnant, and I am already the size of a small whale...I am yet to weigh myself but the goal I have set is to only put on 15kgs. With River I put on about 16 so it should be interesting to see how this goes. I was hit with extreme exhaustion and nausea from about 7-15weeks so am glad to say I'm feeling far better now. But my tummy has popped out about 2months ahead of where I was with River...annoying as I was feeling awesome in myself prior to the news. Training was going well but I stopped most of my crossfit while dancing concerts took priority and had a week off any 'real' exercise but am slowly back into it now. I love training through pregnancy, love disproving the whole "delicate condition" stigma, love empowering myself.

Obviously this baby was unexpected and conceived in a very new relationship. People have been unintentionally hurt by the news and I must say it's been a rocky beginning. It is hard to convey the guilt I feel for disappointing everyone, and it's hard to explain how alone I have felt in this. I am really back to square one. But my new years goal is to be happy in the present with what I have and as two of my good girlfriends told me, if anyone can make the most of this situation, it's me. So I am trying to be resilient, humble and aware. The people that have stuck by me will be always in my heart as even the smallest words of empathy and understanding have really helped me stay afloat, thankyou.


So I thought to leave you with an inspiring thought; whether its training, getting your food right, changing your lifestyle, falling in love, moving on or taking a risk...there is magic in all things and there is a time for all things. Miracles happen daily and at every second there is a chance to do good, be amazing, change the world and stay true to yourself.

Cheers & Giggles xx

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