Birth and beyond

At first I wasn't sure how to approach the writing of this blog, so I have decided to release this series at the same time we focus on these topics in CrossFit Mummas, and at the one year mark of my beautiful daughters HBAC.

There is no script when it comes to birth, you can read 100 stories and not experience anything even closely resembling one of them! The main points I would like to discuss are 

• due dates

• how to avoid a c sect, and

• positive birth experiences

I am no expert on birth however having experienced both a traumatic emergency cesarean and a healing home vaginal birth after cesarean (VBAC) there are some things I believe all women should hear.

The human gestation period is 37-42 weeks, remember that an Estimated Due Date is not an expiration date. Please find more information on how to avoid an induction HERE I went into pre labour with River about 4days prior to the EDD and had him delivered on the very date! I went in to labour with Raine about 4days after. It's very hard to "go over" especially with everyone's obsession about how far along you are and at the exact 12week mark you must announce the pregnancy and at exactly 21weeks you must stop exercising on your back or you will cut off all the blood supply to your baby and at exactly 40weeks you must be induced because your baby will get too big! My advice is to tell a few people the EDD and everyone else can know a possible month.

Now how do we avoid an unwanted cesarean? The odds seem stacked against us when we look at the current rates in local hospitals...we appear doomed as we hand in our birth plan to the midwife after having to highlight the text requesting no unnecessary medical interventions...when birth is a medical process how can we find the support to achieve not only a natural birth but a positive birth experience?

First of all you need to do some research. 

http://m.bmjopen.bmj.com/content/4/5/e004551.full http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/14651858.CD003766.pub5/abstract

http://mamatotomidwives.com.au

http://www.midwivesnaturally.com.au/faq

http://www.mybirth.com.au/intervention/caesarean.html

Where do you want to give birth? There is no shame in desiring a home birth and there is no shame in desiring the luxe birthing suite at the most expensive hospital. Really ask yourself what you want and need. If you have a medical condition you may need some extra hands on deck, if you and bub are healthy you may not need as much as you think. Turns out for me I really needed to be in my own space with carers that knew me well and empowered me. 

Make sure your birth partner/s are as well informed as you are. Focus on optimal foetal positioning. Keep your weight gain on the lower side and keep active throughout the gestational period. Have several action plans. Visualise. Read positive stories and talk about what you want. Watch videos not stupid tv shows. YouTube homebirths/calm birth. Do not let anyone swamp you with their own stories or tell you you will "scream for that epidural". Of course pushing a baby out of your vagina hurts but we have these lovely hormones that help us to give birth and to feel good. Some women even orgasm! My opinion here is that a CrossFit mentality, expect the unexpected and to push our bodies daily, makes us awesome birthing goddesses (though I believe every women should be treated as such).

There are a few extra guidelines, find a highly qualified midwife/ob who will share their statistics with you. If you do exercise please see a trainer who is very qualified and one who has actually been pregnant or trained through pregnancy. I know very few trainers that actually trained through pregnancy but the ones that have really know their shit. Same goes with a yoga teacher or Pilates instructor. Even further with your chiropractor or other choice of body care. The idea is to build a team around you that will believe in you and support your birthing choice. I cannot stress how phenomenal my photographer and sister were during my journey and most especially during the birth of Raine. And I probably had the most beautiful and empathetic man by my side. Both pregnancies I had very invested and involved partners, get your partner to be that guy!

Finally you need to learn to block out other people's projections and stories. I had some very negative women try to belittle me and scare me during Rivers pregnancy, I also had some well meaning women project their unhappy experiences onto me. The worst I encountered was the GP who asked "who have you permission to attempt a vaginal birth?!" When I was pregnant with Raine. My belief is yoga, meditation and visualisation can help you achieve your perfect birth. Things can go wrong but providing you are low-risk and have an experienced support team there is no reason why even a cesarean has to be an unpleasant experience.

For the best most positive stories http://birthwithoutfearblog.com

Top Tips:

Have your birth plan

Delay cord clamping 

Avoid intervention

Get to know Ina May Gaskin

Breastfeed within the first hour

Encapsulate your placenta

Rest your goddess self post birth (have your baby sleep with you skin to skin) allow visitors to bring you food and change baby, clean your home and tell you that you look beautiful. Post partum you may need help getting to the toilet and bathing. My sister Alex was a god send after my c sect...she helped me have my first shower giggling at my funny jelly belly and being careful with my scar. I will never forget her kindness then, when I felt so helpless and alone. And everyone's humor at my peeing in a bucket after having Raine made me feel ok about it! 

If you are having your second, involve your first born...get them excited about the new arrival and if they don't often stay with relatives don't ship them off without a trial run. We had 4+ people on call to help with River and it turned out that his dad was the only one he wanted and we were lucky he was home! 

Prepare your meals, assign a friend or relative to do your washing, HOG your baby to your chest because you DID it! Congratulations, it's time for bonding and breastfeeding on demand!

Breastfeeding is hard, join the Australian Breastfeeding Association prior to giving birth. Have the number by your bed to call as needed. Watch women feed their babies. Look at the babies latch, get comfortable with it. Don't decide how long you're going to Breastfeed just decide to do it. Take it day by day. Talk about it. See a lactation consultant. Establish feeding before you leave the hospital. I've been breastfeeding for three years and I love it! There have been times I hated it, times I wish for some breathing room...through nipple shields and pumping, mastitis and thrush, cracked nipples and poor latch....and we survived. It gets easier, it is handy, and damn it is healthy! Create healthy little CrossFitters....cows milk belongs to calves.

Thanks for reading this giant blog. Thankyou for the Happy Birthdays sung to Raine. Thankyou to the people that have supported us from her conception and through her first year. So much love, so much peace.

xxx

Baby Blues

Mummas please read: 

Depression and depressive feelings are extremely common post partum. 

I won't share my story but I just want you all to know that you aren't alone. 

Everyone has a different situation. Some women are down because they gained more weight than they wanted, or they have gestational diabetes, some because their birth was traumatic, some because their partner was distant or unforgiving during labour. Others feel overwhelming pressure to be supermum, even if no one else expects them to do it all. Some babies scream all day and night. Sleep deprivation can make everyone go insane. Some mothers don't have a partner, some don't have any family nearby, some don't have any money. Some mothers desperately want to but cannot breastfeed their baby. Some mothers don't bond with their little one straight away. When babies are sick, often mothers blame themselves. Some people cannot ask for help or feel like no one will help even if they do.

There is a difference between the baby blues, caused by hormonal fluctuations, and post partum depression. There is also a difference between depression and depressive spells or feelings. 

In my opinion there is always someone to talk to. I used Facebook to connect with other attachment parenting Mummas in the middle of the night when I was up (again) with River. Seeing a professional can be helpful. If you feel suicidal or violent towards yourself or baby get help immediately.

As a mother I know you may feel completely isolated...no one really knows what you are going through after all...as a friend I want you to let me in, tell me you need a helping hand. 

Because of my experience, I know you may not reach out, you may not feel able to, but just know that there is always a better day to be had. The sun will shine, your baby will sleep, you will be able to have a cup of tea (even if it is at midnight while your partner walks around with a screaming baby), time does pass...babies don't keep, we are changed, we are tested but we are loved. And I send you love, send you light. To those dark places you visit in the aching hours of despair.

Mummy mantra "this too shall pass" xxx

Things to come

The main reason I am writing today, that I want to share with you my list of things to come!

Currently I have four beautiful pregnant clients and know at least three more, so I thought I would write a three part blog series.

1. Birth, postpartum & breastfeeding

2. Cloth nappies & EC

3. BLW & attachment parenting

It will be a comprehensive guide of resources for the Melbourne Crunchy Mumma.

My littlest love has been not sleeping well for the last month or so...I assume it's teeth but I also feel that my cutie bum likes to be in a clean/dry nappy...so EC (elimination communication) has really begun in our home. 

Especially as nappies don't dry in my house in winter!!!

Check out www.crossfitcroydon.com.au

As the site is coming together :) 

Having a chat with some beautiful friends about how much pressure we put on ourselves and reading a few articles has really hit home for me that I need to take care of myself a little more. I need to allow myself some breathing space, to let go of trying to achieve perfection, to stop worrying about money and be really and truly grateful for what I have. The people around me are so supportive and loving. The community at CrossFit Croydon has honestly lifted my little family right up, I will ALWAYS be thankful for the people that allow us to do what we love doing, that spend their hard earned cash to validate all of the hours of study we do. Today alone I received a little gift and some incredible messages from people loving the results they achieve from training in such a positive space! It can be incredibly hard when you literally have no money and four mouths to feed, and I had been holding on to anger at the fact we have to start all over. In trying to turn it around I know that one day soon we will have enough money that we don't have to stress about food, bills will be paid and we'll be in a position to never rent a factory or house again. And in starting over we have a better space, a more positive environment, an ego-free place where no one calls you a bitch for being thinner than them or lifting heavier, no one cares if you use a band to pull-up or a stick to weightlift with, people improve all the time and coaching is consistent. 

Thanks for allowing me to speak freely and honestly, to show the awesome times and the darker times. For reading and caring. For sharing the lessons I have learnt. This blog helps me work through it all; parenting and being an entrepreneur. 

I'd also like to quickly direct some love to my amazing friends who are going through some challenges. It is an honour to be part of the support you are needing right now. It's humbling to understand that everyone you know is on their own journey, has their own demons and challenges, as well as their own joy. 

Here's to everyone taking a little pressure OFF themselves and allowing time to be vulnerable. 

Xxx

March mayhem

We're halfway through March...halfway! Raine is 8months old, our gym is into its third week, we've been living in our new home for almost two months...where has the time gone (more importantly why is half of house still boxed up?!).

Over the last few weeks Raine learnt to crawl, pull herself to sit, clap and say "dog" at anything with four legs. She's eating a varied diet of fresh fruit & veg, quinoa, and wheat free toast, pasta or crackers as they come up. She has four teeth which were a nightmare to work through but we had a pretty good sleep last night so I am hopeful we can take on the next bout. The little champ has already done a few wee's on the potty (gotta love elimination communication) and I think she'll be "untrained" around the same time as her brother was.

River has turned a corner, sometimes driving me to distraction, sometimes causing me to cry with happiness that I have him...my sweet, outgoing, independent, hilarious little man. So good with his sister & so good with other kids. When they say "I love you" for no reason it's like magic.

As a mother I haven't been very present lately. I've been truly stressed, run down & not coping with loud noises. It's hard to seperate working mum from mum sometimes and very hard to leave work at work and money trouble out of the equation. We've been here before, starting a new business so I knew money would be tied up in the gym for a while...it's just hard having to do it all over again with an extra mouth to feed & an increase in rent! 

Anyhow, I know most of my readers have felt the pinch of financial strain and I definitely know it will be worth it. To do what I love as a living, avoid child care & have the lifestyle I choose. 

CrossFit Croydon has about 30members which are all FANTASTIC. Such a humble, supportive, hard working group who make me smile going into every WOD. The PBs being achieved every class are proving the effectiveness of our programming and I am loving watching people walk in hesitant and walk out with their heads high! The mum & bub class is beautiful I adore teaching women about health & wellbeing. My pregnant Mummas are so fit & loving I know they will all be amazing parents. It's cool that I can start to encourage breastfeeding and natural birth now, promote co-sleeping, baby led weaning, elimination communication, baby wearing, cloth nappies & attachment parenting. And it's even better that the mothers who have taken a different path don't feel judged or any different, mothers empowering mothers!!!

Yoga teaching is going well, it takes me ages to plan a session but each one is moving more fluently and everyone keeps coming back so I must be doing something right! 

So many adventures on the horizon...I have so much to put out there. I am really trying to release negativity from my life, really trying to protect myself, and really trying to keep finding the things within me that can hold me up. There are hours spent crying on the floor crippled under the weight of trying to succeed. But there are 8 really important hands holding me up everyday, and some truly amazing friends that believe in me even after they have seen me crumpled.

One beautiful soul is getting married in 6weeks and I am running around with her team of bridesmaids to ensure the perfect celebrations are had. 

Thankyou all who help light my path up, thanks to those that let me light theirs.

March mayhem

We're halfway through March...halfway! Raine is 8months old, our gym is into its third week, we've been living in our new home for almost two months...where has the time gone (more importantly why is half of house still boxed up?!).

Over the last few weeks Raine learnt to crawl, pull herself to sit, clap and say "dog" at anything with four legs. She's eating a varied diet of fresh fruit & veg, quinoa, and wheat free toast, pasta or crackers as they come up. She has four teeth which were a nightmare to work through but we had a pretty good sleep last night so I am hopeful we can take on the next bout. The little champ has already done a few wee's on the potty (gotta love elimination communication) and I think she'll be "untrained" around the same time as her brother was.

River has turned a corner, sometimes driving me to distraction, sometimes causing me to cry with happiness that I have him...my sweet, outgoing, independent, hilarious little man. So good with his sister & so good with other kids. When they say "I love you" for no reason it's like magic.

As a mother I haven't been very present lately. I've been truly stressed, run down & not coping with loud noises. It's hard to seperate working mum from mum sometimes and very hard to leave work at work and money trouble out of the equation. We've been here before, starting a new business so I knew money would be tied up in the gym for a while...it's just hard having to do it all over again with an extra mouth to feed & an increase in rent! 

Anyhow, I know most of my readers have felt the pinch of financial strain and I definitely know it will be worth it. To do what I love as a living, avoid child care & have the lifestyle I choose. 

CrossFit Croydon has about 30members which are all FANTASTIC. Such a humble, supportive, hard working group who make me smile going into every WOD. The PBs being achieved every class are proving the effectiveness of our programming and I am loving watching people walk in hesitant and walk out with their heads high! The mum & bub class is beautiful I adore teaching women about health & wellbeing. My pregnant Mummas are so fit & loving I know they will all be amazing parents. It's cool that I can start to encourage breastfeeding and natural birth now, promote co-sleeping, baby led weaning, elimination communication, baby wearing, cloth nappies & attachment parenting. And it's even better that the mothers who have taken a different path don't feel judged or any different, mothers empowering mothers!!!

Yoga teaching is going well, it takes me ages to plan a session but each one is moving more fluently and everyone keeps coming back so I must be doing something right! 

So many adventures on the horizon...I have so much to put out there. I am really trying to release negativity from my life, really trying to protect myself, and really trying to keep finding the things within me that can hold me up. There are hours spent crying on the floor crippled under the weight of trying to succeed. But there are 8 really important hands holding me up everyday, and some truly amazing friends that believe in me even after they have seen me crumpled.

One beautiful soul is getting married in 6weeks and I am running around with her team of bridesmaids to ensure the perfect celebrations are had. 

Thankyou all who help light my path up, thanks to those that let me light theirs.

What stress?!

My friend sent me a fantastic video the other night http://www.upworthy.com/a-whole-new-way-to-think-about-stress-that-changes-everything-weve-been-taught-2 which, as the title suggests helped me change the way I view my stress.

So I've come up with some tips & tricks I have for balancing my crazy busy schedule. THIS is the secret to how Eric & I are still standing:

• The morning routine: lemon water, bush flower essence (my own personalised blend), dress & prepare breakfast, get kids up/dressed/try to do it all at once. My reward is that I am thinking about coffee ;)

• Plan, list, visualize, do. Remain flexible. Every day has a To Do list, each week has a to do, to pay, to plan list, meal plan, grocery plan. This is separate to work lists which are also broken down into financial, legal/accounting, member care, class design, programming, systems, wish lists & goals. Children are never going to allow the plan to go as planned. I'm learning to hold it together when one or two items aren't ticked off.

• Eat. This also has to be planned or I forget and everyone gets hangry.

• Laugh a lot and PLAY. Life wasn't meant to be a serious series of events. Listening to River talk to Uncle Rhabdo (spray painted on our wall) makes me laugh, watching Rain smoosh food all over herself makes me so happy. Chasing the dogs and forgetting the plan for a minute helps me unwind. Teasing Eric or vice versa keeps that pressure lid from coming off (though sometimes this backfires!).

• Talk it out or write it down. If I'm going through something I actually need to talk it through with my closest friends or with people so far removed from the situation they don't mind (sorry to the telemarketers!). I also filter my social media through the men in my life lest I make a career damaging comment or look petty when something upsets me. Sometimes I can't help myself...

• Be grateful. Always. There are so many brilliant things in my life, that this is pretty easy to do. But like everyone else I get caught up in the few crappy things & can obsess over them. I am reminded to show gratitude often though, and I know this makes me a happier, kinder person.

This list should probably include amazing things like yoga and training everyday or spend half an hour in the bath or some such...but if I'm honest sometimes my yoga and CrossFit sessions can't be squeezed in, I never bathe alone and there is often NO time to even go to the loo by myself let alone meditate in a park somewhere. 

So you can easily see that my priority is my family, my business & my health (in that order) and for now this works for me and my journey.

Today I had the pleasure of training with Simon who owns CrossFit Knoxfield and Eric watched the kids so I could smash out my first WOD in so long. And now he'll be laying floor for a little bit longer...man I'm proud of him, I'm proud of us! We're getting it done, doing the same thing as last year only bigger and better and with more drive to succeed. 

This path is everything we've worked towards coming together right now. Theres some awesome people helping behind the scenes; Nick, our steel man, my dad, our coaches & the whole Doncaster lululemon team. And our space that once again we've poured our hearts into is looking so damn good!

What is especially exciting is that I get to train mums in a group setting (for the first time!!) and they can bring the kids & learn to love themselves and perhaps to balance their lives a little better than I can. That I am designing a program that I don't think anyone ever has before...that I get to put my knowledge & experience into a program that is applied in a very specific way, and taught in a very loving environment. So happy :)

Speaking of brilliance and love (and stress?!), my baby sister is getting hitched in a few months!! What a blessing it will be to watch her marry her high school sweetheart, however rushed the planning will be I know that their special day will be pure filled with love. Having Jake as our official brother will be awesome, could not have asked for a more gorgeous partner for Lozzie, they are the perfect duo.

This week I am asking my clients & yoga students to practice falling in love with their lives...and as I write this I feel light, I feel gratitude, the ability to glance past imperfection to see the beauty and abundance that is.

Xxx

Life Assistant

Days like today I require:

• someone to go to the three stores I grocery shop at 

• someone to cook the food on my meal plan 

• someone to answer my calls

• wear my children

• play with them

• unpack my boxes

• decorate my house

• change my address 

• organize & pay my bills

• finalize all of CFC equipment

• promote CFC

• plan my yoga classes

• finish the webpage

• decorate CFC

• clean CFC

• make money money

• finish moving out of my old house

• sort all of my papers

• write more articles

• give me the benefits of their workout

• walk my puppies

• celebrate Valentines Day ;)

So...any takers? Hehe