The art of change

Today I am compelled to write...just three months shy of his third birthday, we have decided to wean River completely. I have tears in my eyes, such a hard call to make. My little baby is a grown toddler, asserting himself more everyday. His diet is brilliant & I've never struggled to get him to eat anything, he is long out of nappies, almost not needing a daytime nap, he's very independent. 

If I wasn't feeding Raine I think I would continue happily along but I think it's time to "bow out gracefully" as this little boy (BOY!) is old enough, and his Mumma is very ready. 

The plan is to have good quality one on one time everyday, and lots of cuddles because since Miss R has come along things have been very busy and I don't really have time for us to play without me carrying Raine, which is fine or has been until now...

We are on day 9, I think and so far I have actually seen HUGE improvements in our ability to parent equally, spending more conscious time together and the bedtime routine is actually not really any more difficult.

So we've also moved home this week which is always a stressful ordeal & on top of that we're finalizing our CrossFit Croydon gear. Eric & Nick finished the floor on Thursday morning at 4am!!!! We've sold 17 of our 20 Foundation Memberships already and our Open Day is going to be EPIC :)

I hadn't trained for over three weeks (my last workout at F3 was wall balls, rowing & strict pull-ups) so yesterday decided to do lots of handstand practice, max plank, nail butterfly pull-ups & do a road WOD that Coach Leasa & Alterego Productions posted (burpees & hollow holds). Today my ABS are on fire!!!

I got to catch up with Adele from Vegie Head and we took our puppies on a walk together. I've got an amazing group of people connecting to me currently and I'm starting to draw HUGE amounts of strength from this.

Life is beautiful if you see it!!!

Cheers & giggles xxx

Adventure

Not sure how much longer I will be using this blog...I'm taking on a few new ventures this year & I am a typical lazy writer!! 

It's official: Eric & I now own CrossFit Croydon, Melbourne's newest affiliate!!!! 

I am SO excited for this we are really on our right path now, and already the people that are interested are SUPER high quality & positive. We have made so many friends in the wider CrossFit community this past year and seen how different each box can be and has to be. We visited Byron Bay CrossFit & LOVED it! They have a brilliant community, a perfect mix of professionalism and relaxation, I would highly recommend visiting or joining if you live in the area. For E & I we really want to make CrossFit accessible to everyone...we want to improve the HEALTH of everyone who comes through our door. So we won't have a culture of pre-workout, and bacon...we aim to create a community of people who feel great about themselves whether they are over or underweight, strong or slowly getting there, old or young, new or seasoned.

The coaches we are bringing on are amazing people who will be able to inspire and teach CrossFit.

Our timetable will be released on Saturday and following that will be our pre-sale. If you are interested in joining us we will have a week long introduction between the 24-28th Feb with our open day on the 1st March (Chloe & my mum's bday!!). Website will be up & running by March.

In other non-Crossy news: I am 9 classes and a bit of homework away from my yoga teaching certificate!!! I can't wait to teach my friends & clients something that has helped me so very much. I learned so much about spirituality, philosophy & myself in the 12 day course. It was really hard for me, to be leaving the kids for 2-4hour blocks, sitting & studying, feeling so tired because as soon as the kids saw me they were so full on and Riv is asserting his independence more than ever and Raine is almost crawling and teething (ie frustrated). They both were hard to get to sleep, I felt like the milk maid, I lost my temper often & was sinking into my own negative thoughts. Both Nick & Eric were fantastic with the kids and handling me...everyone was so supportive of what we were doing & I made some friends that definitely got me through.

I'm so excited to be home tomorrow & to see all the people that had my back & held the fort for us at home. My family, especially Alex & Phil, have been looking after our fur babies in the heat wave & poor Aunty A has been reassuring me the whole time I've been gone! All the people helping us create a community for our new business already deserve HUGE kudos.

And I realized while I was away that I am so incredibly strong, not in a way that I am unaffected by outside things but in a way that I can forgive, pick myself up (or allow someone else to do so), and come back with a lesson learned & a great attitude. Sure we've lost some friends, we've lost respect for people we loved dearly, we didn't have expectations met & I nearly experienced my old friend depression once more. All I can do with that is do my best, keep going, and to keep coming back better. 

Cheers & Giggles

Xxx

Happy 2years

My blog is a teeny bit older than TWO!! Happy birthday to my online writing "career"!!

I am writing today with a full heart, a full mind, full arms, a full tummy, (an empty wallet) and a full on year ahead. Each year I tell myself, this is it Sares, just a little more work & you can rest...then another opportunity comes knocking and I just cannot resist! 

With excitement and regret, Eric and I have decided to leave Factory 3 CrossFit to the very capable Gav. We are going out to start a new box in the eastern suburbs looking to open in March 2014. Before then I am off to Byron to complete my level 1 teacher training course. So I am anticipating a very busy jan/feb! 

It came as a shock to most of our clients but we want to assure people that this move is a business move and a change that will serve us all very well in the future. I am quite saddened to leave the place that I poured my heart into but I know that the new space will offer something the eastern suburbs has not yet seen. We have a wonderful support team behind us, and we are going to go full steam ahead in preparation of our opening. 

Here's a quick glance at our timeline:

Continue working at F3.

Have a little road trip to Robe to visit the besty for NYE.

Build all the processes from scratch so they are ready to go when we open.

Make friends with some VIPs that can help us turn an old factory into a State of the art venue for CrossFit & Mobility (if you're reading this, live local & are interested please contact me!).

Pack up our home into cardboard boxes.

Cry eyes out on last day at F3.

Depart to Byron for yoga teacher training.

Road trip home from Byron (omg with two kids!!).

Move house.

Create a new box.

Open 1st March (Chloe's bday).

As most people know, I don't do things by halves...haha!

Raine took her first bottle (of expressed milk after about 3hrs of one side breast refusal...) on Christmas Eve. Yesterday she had her first taste of watermelon & cantaloupe, just shy of 6months. Looking forward to another BLW journey! She is also very chatty & says Dada every day (seriously?! I birthed her!!), as she rolls about trying to plank/fly/crawl.

I'm going to miss spending 24/7 with my babies for the 12day yoga intensive. It was a decision that was hard to make but Byron Yoga have been very helpful in allowing me breaks to breastfeed and pump milk for Raine. And to gain qualification in yoga instruction will be a priceless opportunity. I will keep you posted with this journey!

On a final note, this has been a year of great personal discovery. I have realized who my true friends are, made so many brilliant new ones, and let some go. I've been highly praised and also bullied. I've found a real peace with my past & gained so much excitement for my future thanks to the awesome considerate compassionate people in my life. I'm truly blessed to see the good in people & to be able to let go what no longer serves me. There are a billion people to thank including my family, my circle of friends, my clients who have my back at every turn, my lululemon athletica friends who have been a constant source of support, and those people I have met through CrossFit that I am completely in awe of. 

Thank you for giving me strength to face the day, and thanks to the universe for giving me endless opportunity in making my dreams come true.

I love this quote "The woman who does not require validation from anyone is the most feared individual on the planet" M.N

My message at this time of year is always the same; express gratitude, give love & don't wait for some bulldust date to change your life. Be the person you want to be, be amazing, start NOW. And as the beautiful Amy Coghlan says, Be.Love.Always.

Xxxx

Brahmacharya

Non excess

This has been my focus of the week really. I've been reading & trying to practice "walking with god". 

As I explained in a previous post, I am not a religious woman. But I am a woman of faith and I like the wonder of the universe. Today I took the WHOLE morning off, cleaned in between playing with the babes, made breakfast for the three dudes in my house, picked up an outfit for Riv to wear to my gorgeous clients wedding....the list goes on! When I was out I decided to visit my friends at lululemon athletica Doncaster. Surprisingly enough we ended up modeling some new gear which was snapped by the beautiful Fatima while Letitia held our kids. If you ever want to discuss the Big Picture, spirituality and how yoga can change your life- go visit these girls! Fatima said that the more she photographs people, the more she sees their beauty. It made me smile because I had greasy hair & was not feeling particularly beautiful this morning! We then talked about just allowing ourselves to be our own kind of beautiful.

The point of my post though is wonderful things happen when you just ARE. We weren't looking at the time or rushing around, River had no shoes on & we had no immediate pressure. This pressure is sometimes crippling to me. So home now and I read this passage I wanted to share:

"Whether I take it easy for a day or escape into the woods by myself, it is hard to give this rest to myself...My ego likes to feel important, and it doesn't feel very important when I am resting. My ego also doesn't like the idea that life can go on without me...I like to be where the action is. Besides, in this culture of constant activity, there is always so much that needs to be done."

"It might surprise us to realise how much crazy activity we create in our days just so we can feel important. We wear our busyness like a badge, like our busyness would somehow impress the rest of the world, or impress ourselves...What if we walked off stage altogether and put God there instead. Maybe then we could go to sleep at night, not with a sense of accomplishment, but with a sense of wonder, because all day we had been an attentive audience to the divine play...we aren't embodied in this form to feel dead but to feel alive..."Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.""

I am guilty of living my life in excess! I am guilty of allowing my ego to take centre stage. But that's ok, this is an area I need to work on...to know when enough is and to find pleasure then and there. Excess causes lethargy, balance creates a beautiful harmony of energy. The more I read about the ethical practice of yoga, the more I learn about myself. 

Cheers & Giggles xx

27 Facts about Me

Feeling like I need to touch base with you all...and now as a REAL business owner I don't necessarily have the freedom to let my hair down on social media...before every post I consider: is it Kind? Is it helpful? Is it necessary? So it's not really THAT important to fill you in, but I'd like to be open & honest, and I'd like you all to comment and tell me about yourselves too :)

1. Above all else I value my family. My kids come first, full stop. I try to be really present with my children as these precious moments are fleeting.

2. Dancing has been my lifelong passion and I doubt I will ever stop. I'm not the best and I sometimes find it hard to put myself out there with the movement, but it is my favorite thing to do. I have danced since I was two years old and while currently I only take lyrical classes, I also love ballet & hiphop.

3. My job is the coolest. I always used to say "I can't be a PT forever" and wanted my degree so I could set myself apart with knowledge and expertise...then I found CrossFit and the possibilities are endless! I could coach til my very last breath :) I also found a niche with mums. My favorite aspect of training people is watching people start liking themselves more & caring less what the scales say. Second to that would be when awesome technique "clicks".

4. Having babies taught me how to love myself. I had never treated my body as a temple until I fell pregnant, and I had never ever been kind to myself until I realised that my children would learn from my behavior, and I want them to love themselves without fear!

5. I hate animal cruelty. It makes me feel unwell, I became vegetarian at 12 & after much research decided to go vegan two years ago. So many people have said "it's just a phase" but I cannot tell you how much it distresses me to cause another being harm. I will NEVER go back because I know too much. Even if eating animals was good for your body, I couldn't do it.

6. I try really hard not to push my opinion onto others (my CrossFit athletes may contest this...I am technique queen) but truly, at the end of the day do what serves your hearts desires. Be true to yourself.

7. Yoga teaches me something every day. Patience, strength, to be myself...I am reading "the Yamas & Niyamas" and it has really made me delve into my life, my thoughts and my direction. It's not easy to practice yoga-on the mat or every breath I take, but it has become a part of who I am.

8. I fought tooth and nail to be the person I am today...there was so many years spent not being the best version of myself. Every day I try to be better-a better Mumma, partner, friend, coach, athlete, dancer & health warrior!

9. I am quite easily influenced!!! Seems I am a people-pleaser and truly take to heart what people think of me, even silly salesgirls selling me very overpriced things!

10. Writing makes me happy. When things are out of balance I can tell as I don't write. I prefer writing in my journal or lists on paper. I am very excited to begin my goals journal, gifted to me by my beautiful friends at lululemon athletica Doncaster!

11. I'm a little obsessive compulsive. I like straight lines and things have to be done a certain way and in a certain order. Blame my parents and Nanna for this one!

12. My favorite foods include avocado, mango, berries, mushrooms, broccoli and Vegemite toast.

13. I've never eaten a banana though this year we discovered that I enjoy banana cake and will drink banana in delicious smoothies.

14. My favorite colour is blue.

15. I believe in karma, fate, an afterlife, the universe, ghosts, love at first sight (my kids) & that everything happens for a reason. I believe in mermaids and faeries. 

16. I used to be a devout Christian, that is how I was raised. I still believe in a concept of God (the universe), and I don't think humans evolved from monkeys.

17. I want to live by the sea.

18. My favorite exercise is a deadlift. I love that it's hard to do perfectly and that (dare I say) I come very damn close every time.

19. My best mate is Will. He's a lovely handsome (single) dude with a very open heart. He will hate me pimping him out like this!! He's been my "person" since the day we met though I sometimes wish he was a girl so we could take selfies and share clothes.

20. My dance idol is my teacher Kim, my yoga inspiration is a woman from Byron named Sydoni whom I really connected with, my CrossFit aspiration is Christmas Abbot though I kind of adore Amy Alessi & Morgan Wardropa! I truly admire Megan Small, Beverley Henderson & Kacey Bennett. 

21. I just realised I really dig some awesome women! (Usually girls scare me!)

22. Marli, my beautiful Lab will always be my first baby. And while he drives me bonkers I love our new baby Lincoln. One day we will get another puppy & name him Rich The Beast.

23. I love coffee. The way it smells, the way it tastes & the way it doesn't talk back to me. I prefer my soy latte with one from a cafe that uses BonSoy. I also love my barristers, anyone that brings me coffee is a dear friend for life.

24. My sense of humor is very dry and sarcastic. I think I'm witty...others would disagree. And I cannot tell jokes to save myself.

25. I'm not very stylish, nor do I care about fashion. Give me a bikini on the beach, a cute maxi, some jeans & lululemon attire for work/yoga/dance and I am set.

26. Most of you know I'm a lactivist, intactivist, co sleeping, baby wearing, cloth nappy-ing, non-vaccining, EC-ing, Baby-Led-Weaning Mumma. This works for me and my family. I will promote these things because I believe they make happier, healthier babies. Breastfeeding is the hardest most selfless thing I've ever done and out of all the above I will promote it, normalize it and do it on demand as long as I can because we live in a society that views breasts as purely sexual and that leads women to believe that formula is just as good.

27. Health & Functionality along with saving the planet one small step at a time is my aim. That's why I love my job, parent like this, became vegan & am a pretty massive "hippy". 

Cheers & Giggles

Xxx

Procrastinating...

Hey lovelies!!

Just needed a little vent...this is what my Monday consists of;

• up at 4am to feed Miss Raine (this goes on/off until 6.30am where I am woken to a huge poo & lots of smiles)

• get up & get breakfast happening

• get to work by 7.30am, finish at 9 get home 9.30am

• review 4 lectures material

• get posters printed

• organise 30 WODs of CrossFit

• sort out merchandise issue

• pump milk

• take two clients calls

• print admin sheets

• hang wash out & bring wash in

• get in a quick WOD at home

• head back to work at 4.30

• finish at 6.30 get home by 7.15ish

• walk dogs

In this time I feed Raine, wrap her, play with River...nick is around so that's helpful though he has a big day of sorting stuff out too. Eric had to fix our flat tire, sort out an issue with Telstra, fix our new GHD, cook meals & do some housework plus he worked this am from 6-7.30am.

This is just Monday! 

There are 10days left for me to study for my exam, things will ease off quite abit after that. 

Some days I want to quit...some days I feel like throwing in the towel, leaving work, giving Raine a bottle, putting Riv in daycare, going out every weekend, trashing my body, ignoring my children's needs, my clients needs, our athletes needs...but I know that even though I have chosen a harder path, even though I choose to put others needs above my own, at the end of the day I have done EVERYTHING with good intent, honesty & love. 

To everyone of you reading this, thank you for giving me space to be who I am...I hope I can inspire you to keep going or that I can stand as something you don't ever want to be. Long as you stay true to YOU.

Our perfect healing homebirth

Ok, it has once again been far too long between posts...and here we are three months after the most magical experience a family can have, bringing a baby earthside.

Here is the story from the incredible birth of our baby Raine Lee.

We ROCKED it, like we actually effing ROCKED the homebirth. Our baby girl was born healthy and naturally in our lounge room with only her parents, her aunty, her photographer friend, her midwives and her grandmother watching over us.

Tuesday 25th June I woke up with some strong pre-labour, was checked by Juliana and encouraged to wait and see...by nightfall all signs had ceased. This was one day past our estimated due date and I felt so down in the dumps about it...thinking I would be pregnant forever! Mentally I had prepared for an early baby and to be "late" was just not in my plan. So I treated myself to Bowen therapy and reflexology and then spent my time fighting off Rivers cold. I got sick and wasn't sure if I could breathe through labour or have the stamina to endure the long labour I was expecting. 

Saturday 29th began with mild sporadic "tightening" that I was mostly able to ignore, I made no mention of them and a normal day progressed. After going to bed at 7.30pm, I was woken at 9.30 with full on contractions lasting 30-45seconds every 3minutes, they were so intense that River was woken and not being able to comfort him distressed us both. My sister Loz, was called to the rescue as was Juliana...things were chaos for a while until it was decided that Nick would pick River up which worked out really well. I don't remember the timing of things too clearly but Donna (our photographer) was called at some stage and stayed with us from about 12.30pm!

I remember being examined by Juliana and she was so kind and gentle and it was nothing like my experience at the hospital. It was one of only two vaginal exams performed, and I never knew how dilated I was during labour until afterwards.

On the couch I worked through contractions with music and holding my sisters hands, Eric was stroking my hair when my waters broke BY ITSELF during a contraction, I squealed and celebrated, what an amazing feeling of achievement, this was the first time I knew I could do it myself, that my body wasn't broken. Soon after we hopped in the birth pool, I think we all believed baby was very very close. This was good in a way as my team stayed really present with me the whole time. I panicked when I felt like I needed to poo. This turned out to be the biggest issue for me - I was literally a tight arse the whole labour!! 

Nothing was happening so we rugged up and headed off for our first walk. Juliana and Eric held me as we marched up and down my hilly street in the dark of night, I even managed to walk through a contraction or two. Helen then arrived and while Jules and the others took turns resting we decided to kick it up a notch. I had spent most of my contractions on all fours or leaning on Loz or Eric, but Helen ordered skin to skin...even started tearing off Erics' jacket!!! We were smooching and cuddling though I was very vocal during contractions, and Helen was actually jiggling my butt to get me to relax my nether regions, it started to work!

When Juliana examined me again she found that my bladder was full, too full, and I couldn't pee. This happened during Rivers birth no no no!!!! A catheter was offered and sent me into despair...this was NOT going to be the same experience. Juliana calmed me down by explaining that they could put it in, relieve me and immediately take it out again. What a game changer. A short time was spent in discomfort and then we were back into it, though my urine showed ketosis, where liver glycogen stores are depleted. I had had nothing to eat during labour and was vomiting quite a lot but I adamantly refused an IV drip. In that case I had some serious work to do! "Sarah, we need to see some progress in the next two hours or we have to talk about transferring to the hospital" frick frick frick, what more could I do? I tried to eat and drink some and Eric suggested another walk. We left the house just after 8.30am, personal trainer Eric came on the scene to have me marching THROUGH contractions. Juliana was reminding me of all the physical feats my body has overcome while Helen force fed me cold vegemite toast. It was so hard.

Back at home Eric and I jumped in the shower, he ommed with me through contractions, shielded me from the cold water (filling the pool up again), and we knew it would not be too long. We got back in the tub despite the fact it was freezing cold, everyone was writing notes or filling the pool with hot water. Helen was telling me to poo on Eric, Loz was whispering encouragement holding my hands and Eric was trying once again to get me to relax my butt.I was getting grunty and could feel the intensity change. It was probably around this time that 'transition' occurred but I could not have told you if it did at all. I was reassured that we WERE in fact doing this. Nick and River popped in to get Rivs clothes and it refocused me. Noone would cut me open again, nonone would rob me of this. My baby would be born NORMALLY, I would ROAR my baby out of my VAGINA because I had WORKED for this.

Pushing took so long I was actually sleeping between contractions. It was really frustrating to feel her head coming down during contractions and then return in between them. Eric had moved in front of me and I was literally using him to get me through, pushing against him or relaxing on his shoulder. There was snot everywhere and yeah it hurt but I didn't care. I was listening to the loving voices around me, Jules talking me through the pushing, Helen smiling at me and feeding me gatorade, Loz telling me how strong I was and Eric riding it out with me. After about three hours her head came out in one push, her body came out in the next. "Reach down and grab your baby" said Juliana, as Eric and I both grabbed her to my chest. 

We named her in the pool as we waited for the placenta, a beautiful name in honour of her grandmother.

The most emotional moment came when we were lying on the couch afterwards, feeding and snuggling, as I exclaimed "I can feel my legs!". I cried for what I had lost with Rivers birth, I cried because Nick had missed out on a beautiful birth for his son, I cried because we did it; an unplanned pregnancy after the trauma of her grandmother passing, after a sad divorce and a very new relationship. The hurdles we jumped to have a HBAC, the doubt I faced, the pressure I put on myself, the changes made mentally, spiritually and physically. We chose the BEST team to support us and we gave birth with LOVE around us.