Day two of things that can't be unknown

Looking for a cute way to announce the pregnancy...found NOTHING for a third child. Awkward. I suppose people just stop caring maybe. What baffles me so much is how different my life has been at the start of each pregnancy. Save a few close and amazing friends, my network has changed so much through each pregnancy. I was young and naive and deeply unhappy when my beautiful River came along, I'd been a party girl and I was not very responsible nor did I treat my body very well. Obviously Raine was a huge shock to us all and yes we lost many "friends" when my body began to grow her. Leaving our gym last year too we lost so much. So this time around I think I'm really excited to say there is only positivity in my life, I don't care for petty drama or selfish people, I surround myself with others that are kind and understanding. We're very cautious now, and I trust as many people as I can count on my hands. That's ok :)

I've had no coffee today, and eaten beautiful porridge for breakfast, sourdough avo and beet toast, cauli mash with tomato pasta and soup is about to be served for tea.

Eric & I took the fur babies on a walk and enjoyed some vegan salted caramel ice cream, wasn't long ago that I could polish one off by myself!

All good things come in threes

3.25pm 10th September, two days after I turn 27years...two pink lines appear on a test costing less than $8. I knew yesterday when a familiar rush of night time nausea came over me. Blame all the beautiful women around me with their gorgeous babies...have me clucking all over the place!

So I'm documenting everything this time because...it could well be my last pregnancy, birth and baby.

I've been really tired and emotional over the past few weeks, especially run down and had been feeling hopeless the last few days. So I'm glad that there is a reason and I am not a complete crazy person working herself into the ground. I'm nervous because our financial situation is not ideal, but I suppose it can't get any worse than it's been in the past few years! It also concerns me that it will bring new change to our family dynamic, which is already changing due to Nick finding someone that he digs :) but I know that each of us has so much love to give, so I doubt any child of ours will ever feel excluded or favored. 

I have been breastfeeding now in total for three years and two months...I am NOT looking forward to gaining weight and I am not ecstatic about tandem feeding again, though I will as Raine most likely won't be quite two years old (dates uncertain). My diet has been ok though I did enjoy a few drinks over the weekend, I cut down to one coffee a day.

River has been unwell for a while now and tonight has been throwing up for apparently no reason, so we're all snuggled up in our bed together. I'm praying for a good night sleep for all of us. Do I always bite off more than I can chew?

How to rise early, shine like a goddess and get sh!t done

Yesterday I started this blog...I had to re-write it because it was really uninspiring and a true reflection of how I felt on a low point of the roller coaster that is my life. 

It's no secret I struggle through the winter months, my brain is negatively affected by a lack of sunlight, and I feel restricted with what I can do in terms of kids activities and exercise. So rather than get all emo on my blog followers, I save that for my private journaling!

Feeling better today anyway, my mum helped me with the kids yesterday as we've all been really unwell and while it's hard for me to ask for help I'm really grateful I had that support. Riv also had a sleepover with Nick after dinner which allowed us a relatively early night.

This morning Eric got up early and took the 6am WOD. It may not have registered but one of us has taken a 6am class every weekday for around 6months, which means the other is up with one or both kids at home. This is not usually a drama, our regular 6am crew is amazing to coach and they work really hard! I have noticed a few things though...some of our faves are finding it harder to get up with the alarm. 

So how do WE do it? How do we get up with our alarm (or kids) and make it through a full day? 

Here's my top 6 tips:

1. Food: making breakfast the night before is essential to getting up early. The easiest meals are overnight oats, smoothies/juices and chia seed pudding. Also eating earlier in the evening allowing your body time to digest dinner before sleep. If you go to bed at 9pm, eat no later than 7pm.

2. Exercise: get a routine happening. Whether you love to smash it out in the morning and have the rest of the day free, or prefer to get your activity done after work to finish the day on a high...get SOME movement in. My ideal is yoga in the evening and about 6rounds of surya namaskar every morning with a workout at 6am or 8am.

3. Gratitude: before you open your eyes to switch off the alarm just quickly note a few things you are grateful for. I wake up with my arms wrapped around my children or my handsome partner, it's not hard to feel happy and blessed. However on the days where Raine doesn't wake up to wee or when one or more kids wake up after a shitty sleep in a bad mood I have to dig a little deeper...and perhaps be thankful for the simple joy of life or that I have a roof over my head.

4. Boycott TV and smartphones: Eric, Nick and myself don't watch television. Firstly we don't have time, secondly media in the West is very fear promoting and biased, third advertisements are not to our taste. We watch tv shows downloaded or purchased with no ads (if the kids go to sleep early enough) and movies as a family on the weekends. Also using one alarm on a smartphone to decrease time wasting and brain overstimulation before bed. Read a book, or talk to your family.

5. Figure out your goals: I want to run a successful business, a holistic health empire and do it as an attachment parent. That's my goal and I work my ass off for it everyday. If I sleep in, I'm no good to my clients or my children...in saying that sometimes I NEED a sleep in to recharge and then be a great mum and focused coach. So I try not to feel guilt about that and further overload my brain. If you want a 6 pack, someone else can't get up and sweat for you, if you want to snatch 60kgs there's work to be done, if you want to be healthy and fit but can't get up I'd say that something is not quite balanced in your life.

6. Habit: all of this will seem like an uphill battle at first, or possibly just in winter, but grabbing a warm glass of apple cider vinegar with water and lemon first thing...it becomes a part of your life. Getting up at the same time everyday unless as I mentioned you NEED to have a sleep-in, will benefit you now and in the long run.

One of our amazing members had a "nightmare" that instead of going to bed, she watched a movie and then slept through her own birthday WOD. That speaks to me about dedication.

Get up when your alarm goes off, make it a habit, feel great about it, listen to your body, and chat to your support team...I'm seriously a phone call away ;)

A new week

My friend Sally Parker has written some fantastic information for us on Extended Rear Facing (ERF). Sally is a beautiful Mumma to Oli, who is a month older than Raine, she loves baby wearing and is just a gorgeous mum all around.

Current Australian law states:

Children must be in a rearward facing restraint until a minimum of 6 months.

Children aged 6 months - 4 years must be in either a rear facing or forward facing restraint with inbuilt harness.

Children aged 4 – 7 years must be in either a forward facing restraint or an approved booster seat.

Please note that all of the above are the MINIMUM standard and should be seen as such. It is not a milestone to look forward to when moving your child to the next restraint as it could be compromising their safety. Having said that, children should be in a restraint that is suitable to their age and height. For example if a four year old is using a 0-4 year restraint and his ears are over the top of the shell, then he should be using an alternative convertible booster seat.

What is extended rear facing? Well it is basically keeping your child in the rear facing position in their restraint for longer than the expected age (6-12 months). Extended rear facing is not common practice in Australia but awareness of it is growing, particularly through the use of social media. The main reason to extend rear face is safety. It is, after all, why we have child restraints, to provide children with safety and comfort while in a vehicle.

Research has shown that rear facing is up to 500% safer than forward facing for children up to the age of 2 years. When a child is forward facing the harness is holding back a child’s shoulders and body but if there were a collision their head and neck would be thrown forward, putting extreme force on their undeveloped head, neck and spine. When in the rear facing position the child’s whole back absorbs the force while pushing the head and neck into the cushioned restraint, therefore, providing fantastic protection against injury (www.carseat.se). You may ask ‘What about their legs?’ I can tell you now I would much prefer my child to have two broken legs than a broken neck.

As with all things, rear facing is only safer if the restraint is used correctly. For example; when rear facing the straps should level or slightly above the shoulders, when forward facing the straps should be level or slightly below the shoulders; if using a seat with Active Head Restraint (AHR) it should not touch the child’s shoulders but sit above; if the restraint is an older weight based version do not exceed the recommended weight limit for rear facing, you also do not want to go over the shoulder height marker (you can go to the top of the label) as seats are not tested beyond those limits; a restraint should not be used if older than 10 years, and finally only use restraints that meet Australian standards.

There are many child restraints currently on the market that offer fantastic shoulder height markers making them ideal for extended rear facing. The two brands that stand out are Britax Safe n Sound and Infa Secure, Britax being an American company and Infa Secure being Australian.

When looking for a child restraint you need to figure out what is going to suit your family. Have you got a small car or is space no issue? Do you need to fit multiple restraints? How much do you wish to spend on a restraint? Do you like the ease of AHR meaning no rethreading of the straps?

Both Infa Secure and Safe n Sound offer seats to suit everyone’s need.

Safe n Sound

If budget and space weren’t an issue the Platinum SICT would be my pick. It currently retails for $659. It is quite a bulky seat but it definitely has all the bells and whistles if that’s your thing.

Meridian SICT (RRP $499) is quite a wide seat but would suit a large vehicle or a vehicle containing only one child restraint.

Compaq AHR (RRP $449) is the narrowest of Safe n Sound restraints, which means it would be the perfect choice for a car with multiple restraints. The Compaq also comes in a range of nice colours.

All of the above restraints have a rear facing height of approximately 37cms.

Infa Secure

Infa Secure make a great budget seat that can be found at multiple stores but under different names. It is, however, the same seat. This is Infa Secure’s base model seat meaning it doesn’t have super thick cushioning or funky colours like their other seats, however many people use it for a newborn and feel that it provides adequate comfort and support. We use one for our little boy and have had no problems. You can also buy additional inserts that add a pop of colour for $39.99.

Below are the names and stores it can be found at.

Neon (Big W)

Glider (Baby Bunting)

Ascent (Toys R Us)

RRP is approximately $179 as it can vary slightly from store to store.

If you prefer a little more padding I would recommend the Kompressor Caprice (RRP $329) which comes in a great variety of colours or the Kompressor XT (RRP $249) the only difference being that it is only available in grey.

All of the above Infa Secure restraints have a narrow base so they are perfect for carrying multiple restraints. They all have a rear facing height of approximately 36cms.

If you are an supporter of extended rear facing and would like to see the laws change from 6 months to at least 12 months for forward facing please visit the following website and sign the petition:

www.rearfacingdownunder.com

I've also included a breastfeeding fact sheet for some of the new mums who may be in need of clarity and hope!

http://www.rch.org.au/uploadedFiles/Main/Content/nutrition/resources/Breastfeeding%20A4%20Feb%202014%20web.pdf

There is not too much about me this week, I shall update you all soon....time to address my real diary for a change. The positives in my life currently are many and I am using them wisely to stay afloat.

Love and peace to all xx

Fitness or Health

Over the last few weeks I've been back to the place where my fitness career began. It's only the coffee and the wonderful owners of Pump cafe that have me driving back to mooroolbark. The shocking thing to me is that I see the same faces that were there when I was, not trainers but members and PT clients. Normally I would think "great! Dedicated, fit people. Great job!" But I am completely baffled by the fact these people pay so much money and....their bodies just haven't changed. In fact, some of the trainers have gained weight! Normally you can blame this lack of change on a number factors, the client doesn't do homework, eats like crap, the trainer has no idea how to program for the client or is too caught up selling bullshit products to make a quick buck or too busy staring at their reflection to actually train the client, the member doesn't get PT because they can't afford it (cigarettes and Maccas are more important) and so not one of the trainers cares about the member....BUT....why on earth would you STAY if you aren't getting RESULTS?! Two years? Come ON...who has two years to waste?! YES waste!!!!! 

This is why the fitness industry is not about health, it's about numbers, it's about selling people a false hope and cashing in. 

Let me be frank (because I clearly am not) a globo gym does not give a shit about you, they give a shit about your bank account. Boob jobs and eating disorders SELL. Being a "power lifter" is the new thing for male PTs and allows them to be overweight.

This is why I never fit in at the gym. I tried...I tried shakes that bloated me and I got right in deep with my eating issues, I  lifted tiny dumbells and did back to back classes, at my (previous) fittest I was my unhealthiest...I had an image to maintain so through my frustrations at not being good with business I partied my cares away on the weekends, I let people walk all over me and I gave them good reason to. It wasn't until I was pregnant that I started to let it go. Started to treat my body like a temple, listen to it and block out the hurtful words that scared me. It took an amazing trainer to push my body after baby, to show me what I was capable of. It took support.

The way I would feel when getting a movement down pat started to replace the obsession I had with being thinner. Before this I always felt like a fraud, I felt like I wasn't good enough. Through my second pregnancy I learnt how to build a real business but my confidence was once more shattered by some spiteful people, it's taken a year to get my confidence back. Now I get told everyday that I'm helping someone, my clients and members seek me out and tell me I've helped change their life. I don't take on people that aren't ready for that change. And that's why our members look different to 5 months ago, that's why my clients have changed. That's why every mum that comes to train with us leaves feeling amazing. Because while a degree and certifications can provide foundations for coaching, it takes a different kind of person to change another's life. While money can buy you a state of the art facility, it takes blood sweat and tears to build a community.

This is why CrossFit is successful. This is why our current box is different to the last one. This is why I'm not worried any more about my ability to help make the world a healthier place. Ask yourself if you received no money, would you still get up and go to work? My answer...heck yes!

Baby bums

Hello again lovelies!

Topic of the day; what treatment our kids bums receive! 

Always, I knew I would cloth nappy. My mum had for us and as we avoid plastic it seemed the logical choice. I also go whole heartedly with my environmentalist parenting; it's not just about my kids cute butt, but about the fact that nappies don't break down....and I don't know many parents that flush poo down the toilet when they use disposable nappies (the correct way to use them) so that means that there is human feacal matter in land fill along with all of the other trash...something that makes my skin crawl. 

This post may be very "tree-hugger" but I'm not one to skirt around an issue. Stop being irresponsible with your waste. Until recently I assumed everyone recycled correctly...and was really sad to realize that it's not true, people are lazy. I think we're well educated enough to know that the way humanity is consuming HAS to STOP. It simply CANNOT continue. And I want my grandchildren to know peace, freedom and fresh air.

So I researched and got a mix of cloth nappies from cheapies to expensive ones. And the only ones that I have truly LOVED are Green Kids & Baby Bee-Hinds. They last and they are absorbent. The drying time sucks though so I fell into Elimination Communication or EC.

The times I have used disposables I spent around $30 on a biodegradable, chemical free pack from the health food store...this was for holidays etc and worth the cost for peace of mind. So STOP buying shitty plastic CRAP from Aldi or Coles because it's cheap, nasty and bad for Mother Earth. You'll save funds in the long run. Cloth nappies combined with exclusive breastfeeding will mean you can use the Baby Bonus to buy organic food and help make up for any wage loss. So you can be a tight ass without purchasing crappy nappies, I am and I'm proud! ;)

The first time I read about EC, I read a story about parents who did it full time from birth and they could tell you the "cues" and would carry newspaper around EVEN at the SHOPS. My first reaction was HELL NO. Haha ;) Then I found out you can do it "part time" and don't have to make it a big deal...you don't even have to be able to read the "cues"! So we made up a little word to say each time Riv peed on the potty and always made sure the second he pooed we took his nappy off. He sat on the potty after meals and before bedtime but we never "forced" it or rewarded it...we cheered when we "caught" a wee/poo and ignored any "miss". He was going pretty much on command by a year, and by 16months completely nappy free. Raine is nappy free at night time doing a huge wee on the potty each morning. This morning was a breakthrough when at 6am she woke up saying "pothy" "pothy" "pott-ew" asking for the potty! 

That's our story anyway. As usual it's not the easiest way to raise babies. But I'm very glad my kids were easily nappy free and we didn't have to make a big deal about transitioning to underwear. 

In other news...finally hit me...I am free!!! Thanks to yoga, the amazing Eric (business partner & boyfriend extradinaire), my best friends (Nick, Will, May and my extra special CrossFit babes), everyone of our CrossFit members and my SISTERS...I actually no longer care about the people that hurt me last year. I feel amazing and confident again. I know I'm a great coach and trainer, I know I'm strong and fit as I've ever been, I'm happy with the journey I'm on...most importantly I'm SO PUMPED that I'm not an asshole. 

So here's to being fabulous, talented and unique. Don't let any asshole make you doubt yourself!

Xxx

Birth and beyond

At first I wasn't sure how to approach the writing of this blog, so I have decided to release this series at the same time we focus on these topics in CrossFit Mummas, and at the one year mark of my beautiful daughters HBAC.

There is no script when it comes to birth, you can read 100 stories and not experience anything even closely resembling one of them! The main points I would like to discuss are 

• due dates

• how to avoid a c sect, and

• positive birth experiences

I am no expert on birth however having experienced both a traumatic emergency cesarean and a healing home vaginal birth after cesarean (VBAC) there are some things I believe all women should hear.

The human gestation period is 37-42 weeks, remember that an Estimated Due Date is not an expiration date. Please find more information on how to avoid an induction HERE I went into pre labour with River about 4days prior to the EDD and had him delivered on the very date! I went in to labour with Raine about 4days after. It's very hard to "go over" especially with everyone's obsession about how far along you are and at the exact 12week mark you must announce the pregnancy and at exactly 21weeks you must stop exercising on your back or you will cut off all the blood supply to your baby and at exactly 40weeks you must be induced because your baby will get too big! My advice is to tell a few people the EDD and everyone else can know a possible month.

Now how do we avoid an unwanted cesarean? The odds seem stacked against us when we look at the current rates in local hospitals...we appear doomed as we hand in our birth plan to the midwife after having to highlight the text requesting no unnecessary medical interventions...when birth is a medical process how can we find the support to achieve not only a natural birth but a positive birth experience?

First of all you need to do some research. 

http://m.bmjopen.bmj.com/content/4/5/e004551.full http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/14651858.CD003766.pub5/abstract

http://mamatotomidwives.com.au

http://www.midwivesnaturally.com.au/faq

http://www.mybirth.com.au/intervention/caesarean.html

Where do you want to give birth? There is no shame in desiring a home birth and there is no shame in desiring the luxe birthing suite at the most expensive hospital. Really ask yourself what you want and need. If you have a medical condition you may need some extra hands on deck, if you and bub are healthy you may not need as much as you think. Turns out for me I really needed to be in my own space with carers that knew me well and empowered me. 

Make sure your birth partner/s are as well informed as you are. Focus on optimal foetal positioning. Keep your weight gain on the lower side and keep active throughout the gestational period. Have several action plans. Visualise. Read positive stories and talk about what you want. Watch videos not stupid tv shows. YouTube homebirths/calm birth. Do not let anyone swamp you with their own stories or tell you you will "scream for that epidural". Of course pushing a baby out of your vagina hurts but we have these lovely hormones that help us to give birth and to feel good. Some women even orgasm! My opinion here is that a CrossFit mentality, expect the unexpected and to push our bodies daily, makes us awesome birthing goddesses (though I believe every women should be treated as such).

There are a few extra guidelines, find a highly qualified midwife/ob who will share their statistics with you. If you do exercise please see a trainer who is very qualified and one who has actually been pregnant or trained through pregnancy. I know very few trainers that actually trained through pregnancy but the ones that have really know their shit. Same goes with a yoga teacher or Pilates instructor. Even further with your chiropractor or other choice of body care. The idea is to build a team around you that will believe in you and support your birthing choice. I cannot stress how phenomenal my photographer and sister were during my journey and most especially during the birth of Raine. And I probably had the most beautiful and empathetic man by my side. Both pregnancies I had very invested and involved partners, get your partner to be that guy!

Finally you need to learn to block out other people's projections and stories. I had some very negative women try to belittle me and scare me during Rivers pregnancy, I also had some well meaning women project their unhappy experiences onto me. The worst I encountered was the GP who asked "who have you permission to attempt a vaginal birth?!" When I was pregnant with Raine. My belief is yoga, meditation and visualisation can help you achieve your perfect birth. Things can go wrong but providing you are low-risk and have an experienced support team there is no reason why even a cesarean has to be an unpleasant experience.

For the best most positive stories http://birthwithoutfearblog.com

Top Tips:

Have your birth plan

Delay cord clamping 

Avoid intervention

Get to know Ina May Gaskin

Breastfeed within the first hour

Encapsulate your placenta

Rest your goddess self post birth (have your baby sleep with you skin to skin) allow visitors to bring you food and change baby, clean your home and tell you that you look beautiful. Post partum you may need help getting to the toilet and bathing. My sister Alex was a god send after my c sect...she helped me have my first shower giggling at my funny jelly belly and being careful with my scar. I will never forget her kindness then, when I felt so helpless and alone. And everyone's humor at my peeing in a bucket after having Raine made me feel ok about it! 

If you are having your second, involve your first born...get them excited about the new arrival and if they don't often stay with relatives don't ship them off without a trial run. We had 4+ people on call to help with River and it turned out that his dad was the only one he wanted and we were lucky he was home! 

Prepare your meals, assign a friend or relative to do your washing, HOG your baby to your chest because you DID it! Congratulations, it's time for bonding and breastfeeding on demand!

Breastfeeding is hard, join the Australian Breastfeeding Association prior to giving birth. Have the number by your bed to call as needed. Watch women feed their babies. Look at the babies latch, get comfortable with it. Don't decide how long you're going to Breastfeed just decide to do it. Take it day by day. Talk about it. See a lactation consultant. Establish feeding before you leave the hospital. I've been breastfeeding for three years and I love it! There have been times I hated it, times I wish for some breathing room...through nipple shields and pumping, mastitis and thrush, cracked nipples and poor latch....and we survived. It gets easier, it is handy, and damn it is healthy! Create healthy little CrossFitters....cows milk belongs to calves.

Thanks for reading this giant blog. Thankyou for the Happy Birthdays sung to Raine. Thankyou to the people that have supported us from her conception and through her first year. So much love, so much peace.

xxx