My life as a rollercoaster

Just going to put it out there, you know you have some serious moodswings when your partner has to take your toddler out to do food shopping at 3pm in the afternoon & this makes you mad & relieved at the same time...
Getting closer with 8ish weeks to go although I keep getting confused about the days so I really wish people would stop asking me our due date-sometime in June ok?!
I honestly cannot imagine being this damn exhausted & emotional & SORE for another 8weeks!!!! My back is screaming at me each evening & making it super hard to want to train. Not being able to drive is a blessing but getting super annoying with Eric & my work schedules, I am truly looking forward to finishing up at GoodLife in 4weeks... I'm not sure my bank account will enjoy it :s
It's getting to that wonderful stage where EVERYone is commenting on my shape, NOone is enjoying my sarcastic responses and I just want to punch people. Wow perhaps I am a little aggressive today.
My latest bloodtest results revealed low B12 & low iron stores (Fe) so I have upped my dosage of Gundersons red iron & found a good vegan B12 tab that dissolves under the tongue. Although I'd prefer to be on less supps, my body needs them & who knows why? It's still uncertain why some people need supps at different life stages, but I am not so proud as to damage my body when it's indicating an imbalance that I obviously can't control with food alone.
Last week we met our second midwife, my birth team has to be the most perfect match for us, I could not imagine trying a VBAC in a hospital setting without the support of an independent midwife. These women are absolute superstars who I am so extremely confident in their ability to support me. We also got our homeopathic birthing kit which is exciting for both Eric & I as he now has a specific birth "job"!
We have even more focus on optimal foetal positioning as bubs head is down while movable and we want it to engage in a few weeks time. So no more hand/headstands daily (a shame as I find this helpful in decreasing my anxiety), much shorter down dog pose & when I sit, my knees need to be below my hips with my pelvis tilted forwards. I have been reading some great stories on the Birth Without Fear webpage & will now be aiming to walk for 4km twice a day plus cat/cow sequence before every meal, seeing my amazing chiro weekly should help too.
My poor best friend has been copping messages like this:
Monday-having the WORST day, everything is awful :(
Tuesday- oh my goodness things are amazing, received an important package in the mail*, was given some awesome birthing crystals hope you're studying hard!
Wednesday- seriously f@$k this s!#t
...and so on. Eric has been copping the whole "I love you so much" one minute & "why can't you understand me?!" the next. I'm aware that sometimes I'm irrationally emotional but with an intense toddler, two highly demanding businesses, a new puppy & a house to run I'd like to think that throwing a tantrum or two is acceptable behavior...River agrees! I'm also aware that I may be overly sensitive but people being ungrateful has got to be top of my absolute pet hates currently.
So tonight I'm signing out after a pretty shit day, coaching tonight was awesome then we had a delicious dinner inspired by my girlfriend May (vegan shepherds pie, recipe below) & now Eric is reading me some wicked birth stories (very cute).

Cheers & Giggles xx
*hint hint everyone make me happy by sending me things in the post!!

Vegan Shepherds Pie
•two sweet potatoes
•one can lentils
•one carrot
•one celery stalk
•garlic & other spices
•sunflower seeds
•one cup peas
•one cup water

Steam, then mash sweet potato.
Pan fry the lentils with garlic for abit, add carrot, celery, peas & seeds. When everything heated through add cup of water & spices, bring to boil (in pan).
Pour lentil mix into pan, cover with mash, bake on 180 for 10-15min. We added gluten free corn crispy crumbs & chia seeds on top Mmm Mmm :)

The 10week Countdown

We made it through 30weeks gestation, what a hell of a ride. There is so much preparation to do now for our hbac & our financial situation!
In terms of my exercise it's been quite sporadic but I'm trying to at least walk everyday, finding the time to train between River & running two businesses & appointments & cleaning like a possessed woman has been tough. I've also just started needing more sleep...mornings are impossible without a good meal & coffee!
My beauty routine has changed too I'm needing to feel pampered & scrubbed clean so I've gone & bought really creamy body wash for after dry brushing, have switched from coconut oil to jojoba oil for my expanding areas & plain vanilla creme for my limbs.
Because of the size of my belly I get uncomfortable if I eat too much although I feel like I'm always hungry and my diet has been including a tad more chocolate. I've been craving Milo but the choc powder I bought is too sweet & not the same at all! So I also invested in a juicer & I LOVE it...green smoothie everyday, my happy :) On the weekend I ran my first nutrition seminar & it was amazing. I was able to give knowledge without telling anyone what to do, and all my food tasted delicious!

I've been trolling (think this is the right way to say it?!) the Internet for some different ways in which I can spiritually prepare for the birth of baby Be. There isn't too much out there although reading successful VBAC stories has been empowering & encouraging-I can do this! So I thought I would share how I've been preparing. Eric and I 'smudged' the house a few weeks ago, we smoked sage in an abalone shell whilst driving out negative energy & asking the universe to bless our home. I've been visualizing the birth, some different scenarios, but most importantly how it will feel to birth this baby. The other week I had some reflexology done and then I have my second Bowen therapy appointment tomorrow. I've been trying to see my amazing chiropractor at least every second week. Surrounding myself with people that believe in me 100% and just trusting my birth team so much. I've also tried to distance myself from negativity & drama. I'm so lucky to have a beautiful ex-hubby that does everything for our son and we have such a great friendship despite everything we've been through. I'm so lucky to have a partner who has taken on so much in the last six months and still puts me, Riv & Be first. I'm so lucky to have people tell me they love me. And I'm lucky to have friends & even acquaintances who say they draw strength & inspiration from me. It takes so much work to change your mindset, so much effort to be kind to yourself when you've been self depreciating your whole life. It takes work to FORGIVE people for the hurt they have caused you and to forgive YOURSELF for all the things you have done wrong too. I do not want these things to come up during labor, I don't want to feel alone or unworthy, I don't want to feel the pressure of anyone else's expectations, I don't want to feel like I have to prove myself to anyone. What I want is to birth this baby the way I know my body is designed to, to allow myself to let go, to free myself from the pressure to be perfect all the time. This baby is a gift.

Yesterday, while Riv was trying to brush his hair with the comb he stole off the basin, I looked at him frustrated yet smiling and thought 'nothing in a billion years could have prepared me for having a toddler'. It is the most intense, difficult, magical time where one second I want to sell him on the black market and the next I just need to smother him with kisses. We're pretty lucky with River, he has always communicated clearly and while he's like the energizer bunny he's not violent or dominant or aggressive. It's interesting watching him learn about sharing, I don't believe in forcing children to share so I generally don't say anything unless he takes something off someone else. We explain that the object of his desire belongs to someone else/will be there when that someone leaves and that if we are patient we can have a play soon. This is not always effective (at all) but I think consistency is the key. It's also interesting that River hasnt developed a particular attachment to any object, no toy or blanket or Teddy. I have absolutely no clue why this is or what it means, it's just an observation I made this week.
I've also been very protective of him and don't want to be away from him lately, perhaps because I know this special time we have just us is going to change? And he's been an absolute boob machine the last two weeks, I think perhaps my milk supply is increasing? Again it's a lovely yet slightly annoying situation!

Thought I'd leave you with a little image from my photoshoot. My photographer is also a client & now dear friend who really inspires me with her passion for her job. I've never had a photoshoot that was just so much fun & such little pressure <3

Food, fitness & functioning

Hello lovely readers! Today I am dividing my post into sections; pregnancy, food/nutrition, fitness & finally the usual update on my life with a 21month old. Firstly, I'd like to mention that in Melbourne right now it is STINKING hot...normally I love the heat, if you know me you know that summer & I are the best of friends. However it is difficult to sunbathe with a toddler, and carrying a thermos in my uterus makes the sticky days rather uncomfortable! So I am niether as tanned as I normally am nor as excited by the heat wave...its just nice to get the washing done & dry.

Pregnancy

Baby "be" is now 24weeks cooked. Throughout the day I experience quite alot of movement and actually quite a few braxton hicks which started at around 20weeks. It's amazing to watch the movement under my skin, to feel the powerful kicks & flailing arms, I am very ready to welcome this little babe into my life. River is now more interested in my belly and will often hug & kiss the baby.
I'm not sure about my size but I havent had to get any new clothes yet, all my clothes are either loose and flowy or stretchy gym wear! My boobs are definitely not growing though...I'm going to chalk that down to still breastfeeding although as of last week I cannot even see if I have any milk at all. River seems unbothered though and is happy to feed about 3/4 times each day, mostly before naps/bed. I still have never experienced cravings for certain foods!
My blood test results came back with the all clear, I was over the moon at this. The only thing I have to watch is macrocytosis (enlarged red blood cells) which can happen as a cause of low B12 or folate or just in response to pregnancy. Both B12 & folate levels were fine.
The most important lesson I have learnt from this is that just because someone claims to know more than you, your instincts are often far more accurate than anyones advice about your life. I am glad I have stuck to my guns & plan my diet in a way that serves myself & the environment. My kids are healthy and strong...and that in itself is proof I am doing the right thing for us.
Some of you know that I am planning a home birth VBAC. River's labor was long and ended in a cascade of intervention folled by an emergency c section. I do not want the same experiences this time around. In this day & age I feel many people are terrified of home birth and must think I am absolutely bonkers for trying to give birth naturally after a cesearean. But my midwives are very experienced and we are all doing plenty of research and preparation for this birth. Eric has been a fantastic support and while there are some things I'm working on overcoming, I am looking forward to the actual birth. I am definitely not scared of any pain, or any complications occuring because of my scar. The only things that worry me are really quite trivial...I dont want to completely destroy the asthetics down there, nor, dare I say, do I want to crap myself!!! But I'm sure in the moment these things will not worry me at all.
Anyway...moving on...haha :)

Food

Recipe of the day is for Chia seed Pancakes:

• 3 cups raw organic buckwheat
• 1 cup chia seeds
• 600ml raw coconut milk
• 1 tbs sea salt

Soak buckwheat for 24-36hrs, changing the water every 6hrs. Wash & drain thouroughly. Soak chia seeds in two cups of water for about 6hrs, until most of the water is absorbed. Mix both together in a large bowl, add the other ingredients & mix in a food processor until ingredients are coarsely blended then whisk until batter is similar to pancake consitancy.
Cook using coconut oil and add your favourite sweet/savory fillings. YUM.

The biggest issue I am currently facing in regard to food, is the quantity that we eat at home!! River easily smashes out three breakfasts and two dinners...its the first thing he wants upon wakening! It will definitely be interesting once I have two hungry toddlers to feed!

Many of my clients have started their 12 week Challenge and this involves LOTS of preparation and eating well. My biggest tip to all of you is to find your hunger cues, LISTEN to your bodies. Once you cut out the crap you will feel BETTER! This is just the truth, and it is simple but it takes a long time to learn. Perhaps one day I will write about my journey with food and learning to respect myself, just for now please understand that it takes time to undo damage, it takes time to heal, and the best way forward is nourishing your body from the inside out.

Fitness

In this heat it is hard to want to be active. Increasing my work hours makes it difficult too. But I have had a big cry & a big discussion and I have worked out a plan that suits me. I will do WODs three days a week and yoga in between. I am going to keep the weekends free. This is not overwhelming and I think I can stay in great shape mentally and physically following this scheme. I think I keep forgetting about myself in persuit of achieving everything I feel I need to, then getting cranky and anxious because I dont feel cared for. Well, its time to start caring for myself!! And actually allowing others to help me.

Its been a really proud week as a trainer when most of my clients goals are based on health rather than specific numbers on the scales. That is what I aim to instill in everyone I teach, that health is the goal, weightloss and a hot body are pleasant side effects of healthy living. I could never have dreamed of doing the things I can do now if all I ever focused on was my goal weight. Just get off your ass. Stop playing on your phone, stop watching tv, stop making excuses because as we all know even the slowest person is lapping everyone on the couch!

This is a sample workout that anyone can do, anywhere, anytime:
15mins As Many Rounds As Possible (AMRAP)

• 10 Pushups
• 20 Squats
• 400m run

My life

So I was planning on a big spiel however its almost dinner time & I feel as though I am melting. Three of my lovely girlfriends had their babies over the last few weeks. Such beautiful creatures and I was blessed to meet and snuggle two of them! I cannot wait to have my own infant to hold... River is growing up too fast!

Well that is about all I have time for today, thankyou as always for reading my blog, every one of you who supports me is a blessing.

Cheers & Giggles
xx

Pride & Preparation

Goodevening! I am going to take a second today to brag...I am SO proud that my son, at 20months is completely nappy free!!!!!!!! This is cause for multiple and excessive exclamation marks!!!!!!!!! All of a sudden, he just hated wearing a nappy to bed after a few weeks of nappy free daytimes. This is going into the fifth night and I so far have not had to change our bedsheets. Elimination Communication is honestly something that makes so very much sense, going hand in hand with peaceful parenting (no rewards/punishments or toilet TRAININNG). So being completely chuffed in my clever little munchkin has made me once again over-share...sorry about that :)

Exciting news; I think I am going to appear in Womens Day magazine! Remember how I donated my breastmilk? Well, the main recipiet (or rather his beautiful mother) was asked to tell their story of recieving donated breastmilk via the Human Milk for Human Babies facebook page. Informal milk sharing is AWESOME. This is a great opportunity to spread the news that there is a better option to formula, that it doesnt have to be an expensive venture, and anything to normalise humans drinking human milk is a big step towards major health and environmental gains. I urge you if you are struggling to breastfeed to call the Australian Breastfeeding Association, visit a Lactation Consultant, arm yourself with factual information, gain the full support of your partner and loved ones, DONT give up, and if all else fails then seek the perfect source of nutrition for your babe. I definitelty plan on donating again when my supply comes back.

In training news...I have been SQUAT, SQUAT, squatting. That is honest to goodness the most important exercise anyone can do. If you cant squat - LEARN immediately. Come ask me, I'll show you. It doesnt have to be with weights, it doesnt have to be with heavy weights, but you need to learn how to squat for the health of your hips, your trunk and your...ummm "bits"...
My exercise of the week has been a single arm KB swing to overhead, followed by a squat. LOVE it. It's been hard to schedule time for training whilst all of our gym prep is taking place but I've been trying to do little bouts throughout the day, such as when I'm brushing my teeth! Cannot wait to get up at our open day and show everyone how we scale a WOD for pregnancy. Although I am nervous about keeping insanely fit throughout my pregnancy, somehow it never seems to be quite enough...but I am going into this fitter and more healthy than with River, here's to finding an extra hour in the day!

This week I had all my blood work done and it will be interesting to hear the results. I was not overly impressed with my dietician and now feel as though I could easily charge $130 for my nutrition consults haha. We have switched to a soymilk fortified with vit B12 and calcium although I dont really drink very much and should make more of an effort. You all know how I feel about supplements! It's so interesting, I have really lost faith in the fitness industy...it has become all about making a quick buck. From Ashley Bines to Herbalife/Yor Health, "guaranteed" results in x amount of time, IF you buy this supplement, take this pill, drink this shake, Oh and see a PT every day...the reason I am somewhat "unsuccessful" at what I do is because I dont sell any of this bullshit (excuse my french) and it grinds my gears that because of this, less qualified, less caring people rake in the big bucks!!! One day people will value their health over a quick fix...and then maybe I'll be rich & famous!! Rant over. With a quote to perk myself up:

Learn from yesterday.
Live for today.
Hope for tomorrow.

Cheers & Giggles xx

Just Be. B12

Hello dear readers,

I have been ambushed by my maternal health nurse whom is DESPERATELY concerned about mine, Rivers' & unborn baby Be's intake of vitamin B12. So tomorrow I am off to see a dietitian because obviously I am not putting the health of my children first by being a vegan and extended breastfeeding...dear god. I'm excited to see the dietitian though because I know my diet is well balanced and thought out (most of the time) and will be interested to hear her opinion. She is well educated and specialises in vegan diets, children and pregnancy (bingo!).

I have done much research on the topic but decided to give you all a few links to information regarding B12 supplements. With my milk supply decreasing we are making an afternoon smoothie for Riv with soy milk, coconut yogurt, berries, banana (or other fruit), moringa leaf powder and chlorella. My B12 stores were on the low side but not worrisome during my pregnancy with River. I am yet to have any blood tests during this pregnancy (18weeks on Saturday). As most of you know, I don't really take supplements, I take MuscleEase after workouts and add Chia/hemp seeds to at least one meal daily and obviously the moringa powder & chlorella when I make myself a smoothie. So I definitely do not take B12, most that I have found are not vegan. According to the next few articles you would think I am such an idiot...

http://ajcn.nutrition.org/content/89/5/1627S.long

http://veganhealth.org/b12/natural

http://www.vegansociety.com/lifestyle/nutrition/b12.aspx

But finally, something that seems to support what I feel:

http://www.naturalnews.com/029531_vitamin_B12_vegan.html

http://www.roylretreat.com/articles/b12.html

If you can be bothered reading, basically there has not been enough conclusive research done to support plant sources of vitamin B12. I HAVE been relying on sea vegetables, mushrooms & chlorella...which one guy suggests I am CRAZY for doing so. The last two articles however, suggest that B12 deficiency is more to do with bacteria in the gut and absorption...and that I don't actually need to supplement. It will be interesting to see what the dietitian says.

Today I have been the carb queen...had half a bowl of oats with cinnamon, raspberries and soy milk at 6.30am, two salad rolls at 10am when Riv went to sleep, potato & leek soup with toast at 2pm for lunch (Riv slept til 1pm), and quinoa pasta with hearty vegetable & lentil sauce for dinner at 6pm. As you can see I haven't had nearly enough fruit and have filled up on too much bread. This week has been off with Eric working so hard on the factory and me trying to get my own business back to booming. We haven't meal planned or done a big shop so our meals are not as well structured as they should be. I also did a workout of hang cleans at 20kgs and pull ups (jumping) with some yoga tonight.
Tomorrow I will aim for fruit salad breakfast with coyo, kale chips (snack), soup for lunch, green salad in the afternoon, perhaps a brown rice curry for dinner and steamed apple for dessert.

Please leave me your email addresses if you would like to receive the very first Fresh Lift newsletter which is circulating now.

I am very tired today but I am slowly getting all I need to get done. This is going to be SUCH an exciting venture. Next weekend is Tough Mudder (I get to watch...), the following weekend is a Crossfit comp in Mildura (again I watch...), I do my Crossfit Level 1 early Feb and Project X should be unveiled at the same time!!! I'm finally getting in the habit of 'precence' and being happy exactly in the NOW although I tell you my hormones aren't helping!! It should also be mentioned that after my last blog I have been sick again TWICE, hardly acceptable second trimester behaviour if you ask me :)

Thankyou for your kind words after last weeks blog, I am strong because I have a great foundation of support in you guys, my family, and my dear friends.

Cheers & Giggles xx

Time for all things

So, I wanted to be honest...the past 12months have been insane. It's been a year of great joy, gut-wrenching grief, big mistakes, bigger lessons, beautiful love and the endless pursuit of happiness.
It has been amazing watching my son become a toddler, observing the relationships he has with others and the world around him. I am incredibly proud of my parenting and know that as many times as I've screwed up, at least I have this one thing down pat...at least my son will never doubt for a second that I love him with all of my heart.

So the biggest challenge I am facing is the new baby currently residing in my womb. On Saturday I think I'll be 16weeks pregnant, and I am already the size of a small whale...I am yet to weigh myself but the goal I have set is to only put on 15kgs. With River I put on about 16 so it should be interesting to see how this goes. I was hit with extreme exhaustion and nausea from about 7-15weeks so am glad to say I'm feeling far better now. But my tummy has popped out about 2months ahead of where I was with River...annoying as I was feeling awesome in myself prior to the news. Training was going well but I stopped most of my crossfit while dancing concerts took priority and had a week off any 'real' exercise but am slowly back into it now. I love training through pregnancy, love disproving the whole "delicate condition" stigma, love empowering myself.

Obviously this baby was unexpected and conceived in a very new relationship. People have been unintentionally hurt by the news and I must say it's been a rocky beginning. It is hard to convey the guilt I feel for disappointing everyone, and it's hard to explain how alone I have felt in this. I am really back to square one. But my new years goal is to be happy in the present with what I have and as two of my good girlfriends told me, if anyone can make the most of this situation, it's me. So I am trying to be resilient, humble and aware. The people that have stuck by me will be always in my heart as even the smallest words of empathy and understanding have really helped me stay afloat, thankyou.

 



So I thought to leave you with an inspiring thought; whether its training, getting your food right, changing your lifestyle, falling in love, moving on or taking a risk...there is magic in all things and there is a time for all things. Miracles happen daily and at every second there is a chance to do good, be amazing, change the world and stay true to yourself.

Cheers & Giggles xx

Fresh Lift Personal Training

As the end of the year approaches and 2013 is looking to be bigger and even more badass, I thought I should include in my blog some shameless work promotion. Cathryn has just started working with me and I thought some of you would like to see just HOW we can improve your life and start shaping your fitness journey.

Personal Training has been my passion over the past four years, I have worked with some amazing individuals to help them lose weight, shred, bulk up, get army ready, compete in fitness comps, shape up over pre-season, during pregnancy and post partum, and I have even rehabilitated a few knee reco's, and a nasty case or two of bursitis...
Everyone that I train is amazing, I'm a huge believer that people come into our life for a reason and I have connected really well to most of my clients past and present. There is always the odd challenge though, the client that you cannot reach for whatever reason, and I guess this is why the industry in-joke is about us being more like counsellors!

My style of training is abit of an ecclectic mix. I have been storing exercise articles from magazines and health books since I was 12, and my background in dance and gymnastics means I am a stickler for form. It's seriously like I am the technique nazi and I'm known to get nasty when I see people with rounded shoulders or hunch backs...dont get me started on handstand pushups or the girl at gym who actually hits her butt each time she does kettlebell swings!!! I have trained with a trainer since I was 18years old so have come across many styles, I've done your typical figure competitor training which I actually hated and it didnt really change my body for the better. I've done the whole light weight, lotsa reps training which didnt do much either, functional training helped with my coordination although being a dancer, it was things that I could easily do so it didnt change my body or challenge me. The best mix for me has been dance, crossfit and yoga. Thats what I have done after having River & I think my body looked the best it ever had! So often times it's trial and error. With my clients, I always start of with functional training, once they can master good movement patterns, activate TVA correctly, fix any postural issues and show me a dedication to their own health then it is time to start smashing it! I cant wait to become a crossfit coach in Feb, even if I strongly oppose kipping handstand pushups and ridiculously wide-knee squats, haha!

And a note from Cathryn:

Welcome to the start of a new and Healthy life!

I am Cathryn, a mother of two from Chirnside Park. My daughter Amelia is 9 years old and my son William is one year old. 3 months after the birth of my daughter I was 117 kilo’s and with good food, exercise and a personal trainer of my own I lost 52 kilos and now feel on top of the world.
My passion and goal is to help every person I come in contact with start on their path to a healthier and more active lifestyle. Through personal training and an active weekly plan, everyone can feel as great as I do now.
Another passion of mine is working with mothers like myself during their pregnancy and beyond.
Remember: Believe you can and your half way there!

Stay tuned for some inspirational before/after shots and some hopefully amazing testamonials.
Check out my facebook group "Fresh Lift Personal Training" for daily inspiration, recipes and even competitions!!!

Be fit & healthy going into the festive season, dont loose sight of your goals! Here I have the 10 Commandments of Silly Season Sexiness:

1. This is your LIFESTYLE thus it is a way of life...sure it might be tempting to indulge over Christmas and make some new years resolutions but instead of starting over, keep being AWESOME!

2. Be organised! Plan your meals just like you do during the year, if you know you want to have a few Chrissy drinks then eat a big healthy meal beforehand and lots of water with you. It's ok to indulge a little but if you structure your meals you wont need to.

3. Eat small and often.

4. Learn to leave something on your plate...it's ok really. And if you are worried about wasting food while others starve then open up your wallets not your mouth!

5. Eat slowly. Enjoy the taste, texture, the company you are in, and be truly thankful for all that you have.

6. Enjoy your food. Do not use it as a reward or punishment. You are not a dog.

7. Dont feel deprived. This leads to binging. Refer to commandment 1. this is a lifestyle not a diet.

8. Move it!! Get up and get moving. I am working through Christmas & the new year as is Cathryn. Keep your appointments, go for a walk, get active and LIVE.

9. Get enough sleep. Go to sleep and get up at the same everyday. Lack of sleep can add inches to the waistline. Baby keeping you up at night? Consider co-sleeping, otherwise be patient & know that it wont last forever.

10. Use any holidays to relax and recharge. We have some seriously big things planned for 2013....be prepared :)

Cheers & Giggles xx